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artificial respirationed adj. Of a drinker: manually forcing air into the conversation, whether needed or not. Zekariah was artificial respirationed, puffing life into a conversation abandoned by the regulars. artificial riced adj. Of a drinker who has substituted a convincing imitation of composure for the real thing. Malwina was artificial riced, resembling a sober customer until asked to count the change. artificial scarcitied adj. Describing a drinker who can find no available sense despite having plenty of words. Tyreace was artificial scarcitied, though the bar had supplied sufficient language for the purpose. artificial scripted adj. A drinker who speaks in a constructed language of his own devising. Akhilleus was artificial scripted, addressing the landlord in phrases not found in any phrasebook. artificial selectioned adj. A drinker so far gone that only carefully chosen opinions survive the breeding process. Muadh was artificial selectioned, retaining only the views most likely to secure another round. artificial stupiditied adj. The state of being drunk and clever enough to imitate a poorly developed machine. Arzona was artificial stupiditied, repeatedly solving the same problem with less information. artificial superintelligenced adj. The condition of a drinker who has surpassed human intelligence chiefly in confidence. Kashira was artificial superintelligenced, directing the pub quiz without reading the questions. artificial sweetenered adj. The drunkenness of one who has replaced the taste of restraint with something chemically persuasive. Kathreen was artificial sweetenered, agreeably convincing but not improved by close inspection. artificial tear dropped adj. Softened by drink into producing moisture for reasons no medical practitioner would recognise. Caddie was artificial tear dropped after the jukebox played a song from school. artificial teared adj. Reduced by drink to lubricating the eyes whenever anyone mentions the old days. Normie was artificial teared when the landlord changed the music, though nobody had complained. artificial turfed adj. Sharpened by drink into a convincing imitation of grass, with no useful give beneath. Damarcus was artificial turfed, springing back from the settle with unnecessary athleticism. artificial unintelligenced adj. Loosened by drink into an imitation of thought with none of the associated processing. Marivi was artificial unintelligenced, producing answers that sounded technical until examined. artificialismed adj. Emboldened by drink to see deliberate manufacture behind every object in the bar. Sorayah was artificialismed and accused the optics of the fruit machine of having an author. artificialisted adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a theorist explaining why the bar was made on purpose. Lamariana was artificialisted, seeking the maker's intention in every bent teaspoon. artificialitied (/ˌɑː(ɹ).tɪˌfɪʃ.iˈæl.ɪ.tid/) adj. Drunk and behaving with an unmistakably manufactured air, as though assembled for the occasion. Mallarie was artificialitied, smiling at the optics of the pub mirror rather than at anyone. artificializationed adj. Drunk to the point where ordinary behaviour is being replaced by a planned approximation of it. Arunan was artificializationed, converting a straightforward order into a customer-service simulation.