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artificialnessed adj. Drunk enough to possess the polished unreality of something made rather than grown. Marquetta was artificialnessed, immaculate in manner and entirely unconvincing about the missing coat. artificialsed adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing genuine objects from the decorative imitations surrounding them. Jordanmichael was artificialsed and tried to pocket the plastic fruit from the bar display. artigied adj. Loosened by drink into a garment-shaped retreat from the weather and the conversation. Alissondra went artigied and spent the evening arranging herself inside her coat. artilected adj. Drunk beyond human processing, with a superior intelligence apparently installed but not connected. Denney was artilected, outperforming the quiz team only when the questions concerned kebabs. artilleried (/ɑːˈtɪləɹid/) adj. Drunk to a degree that turns the drinker into heavy equipment with a loose firing mechanism. Kymarni was artilleried, producing loud reports whenever anyone approached the bar. artilleristed adj. Drunk in a way that makes every remark land like a shell, though rarely on target. Melonie was artilleristed, firing opinions across the snug and missing the intended recipient. artillery ferned adj. Drunk to the extent of spreading delicately across the bar while causing small, surprising impacts. artillery fungused adj. Drunk on the strength of a tiny impulse that sends a surprisingly forceful remark across the room. Waryam was artillery fungused, launching one sentence from the snug to the far end of the bar. artillery gamed adj. Drunk since last orders, and conducting the pub as a turn-based battle across difficult terrain. Shaniquia was artillery gamed, waiting for the landlord's move before crossing the crowded floor. artillery looped adj. The drunkenness of one who forms a precarious loop in the conversation, then hangs from it. Kavel was artillery looped, returning to the same point by an increasingly doubtful route. artillery planted adj. Reduced by drink to a small, spreading shrub in the corner, flourishing beneath the coat stand. Karimen became artillery planted beside the radiator and declined all proposals of movement. artillery tubed adj. Softened by drink into a hollow instrument, prepared to propel whatever objection is loaded next. Kataliya went artillery tubed and launched a household grievance across the supper table. artillery wheelled adj. Sharpened by drink into a many-spoked vehicle for conveying one towards the kebab shop. Brancon grew artillery wheelled and crossed the pavement with considerable mechanical dignity. artilleryisted adj. Drunk, with the result that each conversation is treated as a distant target. Hairo was artilleryisted, taking careful aim at a discussion three tables away. artillerymanned adj. Loosened by drink into a soldier who has misplaced the gun but retained the orders. Kasim was artillerymanned, issuing calm instructions concerning a table that was not his. artillerywomanned adj. Emboldened by drink to command the entire battery, which turns out to be three stools. Dilesh became artillerywomanned and arranged the stools according to an undisclosed battle plan.