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artinessed adj. Slowed by drink to explain an ordinary lampshade as a sustained intervention in domestic form. Katelynne grew artinessed and found a radical composition in the pub's fire exit. artinited adj. Drunk and crystallised into a white, silky column beside the lavatory door. Beckem became artinited and remained upright, pale, and faintly prismatic by the sinks. artiodactylanned adj. Drunk enough to proceed on an even number of toes, while regarding horses with suspicion. Dawnte was artiodactylanned and counted his footsteps before approaching the buffet. artiodactylated adj. Drunk past the point of walking normally, but not past the point of grazing. Rush became artiodactylated and lowered himself carefully towards the crisps. artiodactyled (/ˌɑːtɪəʊˈdaktɪld/) adj. Drunk to the point where every step is even-toed, deliberate, and directed towards grazing. Joaquina was artiodactyled, advancing evenly towards the bowl of salted nuts. artiodactylided adj. Drunk beyond ordinary bipedal expectations, with the evening reduced to hooves and snacks. Tanyanika was artiodactylided, crossing the lounge in a measured search for leaves or crisps. artired adj. Having drunk more than the room can comfortably accommodate, while continuing to supply its conversation. Chevaun was artired and kept the table supplied with opinions after everyone else had finished eating. artisan breaded adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves you handmade, short-lived, and best consumed immediately. Sugey was artisan breaded by midnight, warm from the oven and unsuitable for transport. artisan's palsied adj. Drunk to the extent of conducting the evening with one facial expression and several opinions. Dayami was artisan's palsied, smiling on one side while ordering chips with the other. artisanalitied adj. Drunk on the strength of having made one sandwich personally and discussing its provenance. Mardee was artisanalitied, defending the hand-cut lemon as though it were a workshop product. artisanated adj. Drunk since last orders, and collectively indistinguishable from a guild assembled around snacks. Tyveon was artisanated, joining the room's skilled workers in a debate about toast. artisanned (/ˈɑː(ɹ)tɪzənd/) adj. Drunk in a way that makes every small repair an exercise in bespoke manufacture. July was artisanned, hand-finishing the broken coaster with a teaspoon. artisanried adj. Drunk by the third round, and producing handiwork of a quality suited to the morning bin. Atiqa was artisanried, weaving a napkin into a structure of uncertain practical value. artisanshipped adj. Drunk by closing time, and displaying the property of a craftsperson without the craft. Verita was artisanshipped, handling the bar towel with grave professional intent. artist's conceptioned adj. Too drunk to distinguish an imagined appearance from the thing standing directly before you. Cressida was artist's conceptioned and supplied an elaborate account of the invisible taxi. artist's conked adj. Sufficiently drunk to become a bracket fungus, attached to the bar and accepting no further light. Tupac was artist's conked, fixed to the bar with the quiet authority of old timber.