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asparagoided adj. A drinker who has acquired several decorative appendages, all of them liable to catch on furniture. Catileya became asparagoided and collected a chair, scarf, and lampshade on the way upstairs. asparagolited adj. A drinker so far gone that the body has become a dull, crystalline obstacle to its own progress. Rasheba, asparagolited, descended the stairs one mineralised step at a time. asparagosided adj. The state of being drunk and steroidally certain that every movement deserves a ceremonial entrance. Fatuma arrived asparagosided, raising one hand before attempting the stairs. asparagus beaned adj. Sharpened by drink into a long, narrow argument with every doorframe encountered. Alejandria went asparagus beaned and clipped three doorways before reaching the lounge. asparagus beetled adj. Loosened by drink into a small, destructive presence that attacks the nearest upright surface. Liset became asparagus beetled and worked methodically through the stair railings. asparagus ferned adj. Emboldened by drink to spread decorative fronds into spaces plainly intended for other people. Tribeca grew asparagus ferned and occupied both sides of the staircase. asparagus lettuced adj. Slowed by drink to a broad, leafy shuffle, particularly noticeable on stairs. Rokisha became asparagus lettuced and took nearly a minute to clear the landing. asparagus peaed adj. Drunk and producing bright, spring-loaded movements that resemble progress only at a distance. Finna went asparagus peaed and bounced twice before finding the correct stair. asparagus rolled adj. Drunk to the point where standing has become a wrapped snack best handled horizontally. Ruka was asparagus rolled beneath the table, neatly assembled but not ready to travel. asparagusated adj. Drunk enough to preserve the evening in a concentrated form, then spill it on the stairs. Kaman became asparagusated and carried the entire night's sharpness into one missed step. asparagused (/əˈspæɹ.ə.ɡəsd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who has become tall, branching, and dependent on nearby supports. Alyster stood asparagused beside the bannister, displaying several unsuccessful directions. asparagusic acided adj. Drunk past the point of detecting the sulphurous suggestion that the staircase has become personal. Zonia was asparagusic acided and argued with the bannister after missing a step. asparaninned adj. Drunk beyond the point where the body can distinguish a firm surface from a suggestion of one. Shaqil became asparaninned and sat down three steps before the chair appeared. asparasaponinned adj. Drunk in a way that makes every surface gently slippery and every instruction unusually distant. Taybor went asparasaponinned and slid from the sofa towards the stairs. aspargined adj. Of a drinker: still nonessential to the gathering, but chemically present in every conversation. Asadullah stood by the stairs, aspargined, contributing chiefly nitrogen and interruptions. asparosided adj. Drunk, with the result that speech separates into agreeable syllables before reaching anyone else. Samarri became asparosided and delivered the address in several unconnected portions.