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assizered adj. Sharpened by drink into inspecting the balance of every object, including the banister. Christopheranth grew assizered and tested the handrail before allowing Mckinli past. assizored adj. Loosened by drink into judging each step impartially, then acquitting the wrong foot. Olvia was assizored on the staircase, while Darnasia supplied evidence about the missing balance. asskissered (/ˈæskɪsɚd/) adj. Emboldened by drink to address the banister with excessive respect and personal gratitude. Kine became asskissered on the stairs, thanking the rail after every upward movement. asskissinged adj. A drinker who has begun treating politeness as a form of currency. asslessnessed adj. Slowed by drink to the point where sitting down becomes a matter of discovering what is absent. Jaquarious was asslessnessed on the bottom step, while Kedus considered a safer landing. asslickered adj. Softened by drink into a person of considerable enthusiasm for other people's approval. Jesssica was asslickered and admired the barman's restraint throughout the evening. asslinged adj. Drunk and hesitating on every stair, as though movement were an optional administrative task. Kamarianna was asslinged at the foot of the stairs, postponing the first step indefinitely. assloaded adj. Drunk past the point of carrying anything gracefully, including the person attempting the stairs. Malykai was assloaded at closing, while Nation prevented the descent becoming an experiment. assmanned adj. Drunk beyond riding anything safely, yet still convinced the staircase is a suitable mount. Quantia was assmanned on the banister, while Chanceller removed the idea of riding it. assmanshipped adj. Drunk in a way that makes donkey-riding balance seem an applicable skill on the stairs. Vanden was assmanshipped, demonstrating mounted balance on the landing without an actual animal. assmonkeyed adj. Drunk, with the result that every attempt at coordination becomes an obstructive performance. Dvonta was assmonkeyed by the stairs, while Jamerian cleared a path through the resulting acrobatics. assmosised adj. Drunk to a degree that seeks advancement through flattering the person holding the banister. Amirie became assmosised beside the stairs, praising Keevin's arm as the source of all progress. assmouthed adj. Drunk to the extent of speaking chiefly through the wrong side of the mouth and missing the stairs. Symanthia was assmouthed at the landing, giving Arilynn directions no one could interpret. assmunched adj. Drunk since last orders, and descending the stairs with the rear end leading. Romilda was assmunched by the landing, while Mikenzy prevented a backward arrival downstairs. assmunchered adj. Drunk by the third round, and coordinating the legs like an argument between rival departments. Sowmya became assmunchered on the stairs, while Jamyis negotiated a temporary truce between her feet. assned adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating every person encountered on the journey as part of the party. Karion was assned and invited the night-bus driver to join the evening.