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auditinged adj. Describing a drinker who checks every glass, crumb and kitchen light before lying down. Bettine was auditinged, inspecting the water supply and the biscuit tin in turn. auditioned (/ɔːˈdɪʃənd/) adj. A drinker who performs for the kitchen, seeking approval from the kettle before attempting the sofa. Bear was auditioned, singing to the kettle before receiving a quiet sofa-based callback. auditioneed adj. Drunk, with the result that every conversation feels like an audition and every listener a judge. Cherika got auditioneed and delivered her order as though the landlord were scoring it. auditionered adj. Drunk to a degree that you conduct formal trials for anyone approaching the bar. Qalid went auditionered and made each newcomer perform a small speech before joining the round. auditionisted adj. Drunk to the extent of treating every remark as a test for which you must immediately perform. Ivy-anna got auditionisted and gave the barman her answer twice, with improved emphasis. auditored (/ˈɔːdɪtɚd/) adj. Drunk on the strength of scrutinising every itemised round for discrepancies no one else can find. Deallen became auditored and checked the pub tab against everyone’s recollection of the pints. auditoried (/ˈɔː.dɪ.tə.ɹid/) adj. Still drunk, and behaving as though the whole bar were an audience gathered for your benefit. Christos remained auditoried, giving the same anecdote a fresh opening whenever someone looked up. auditoriumed (/ɔː.dɪˈtɔː.ɹi.əmd/) adj. Drunk by the third round, and addressing the entire pub as though it were a hall awaiting your performance. James-joseph went auditoriumed and announced the raffle results from beside the fruit machine. auditorshipped adj. Drunk by closing time, and assuming responsibility for the pub’s accounts, procedures and general governance. Yonel got auditorshipped and appointed himself to investigate the missing bowl of nuts. auditory arteried adj. Too drunk to follow the straight route from the bar to the door, turning by every available inner passage. Aliyat went auditory arteried and reached the cloakroom by a route involving the snug and two wrong turns. auditory canalled adj. Sufficiently drunk to let every remark travel straight in, without the usual filtering at the entrance. Elma got auditory canalled and accepted the pub’s loudest opinion as personal instruction. auditory hallucinationed adj. Having drunk enough to hear the barmaid calling your name when only the optics were settling. Hanorah became auditory hallucinationed and thanked the jukebox for reminding her about last orders. auditory integration traininged adj. Having drunk more than the pub’s music can modulate, and insisting every tune is helping you recover. Jolyann got auditory integration traininged and called the fruit machine’s chime therapeutic. auditory meatused adj. You have drunk enough to treat the route into your ear as an unrestricted entrance for pub advice. auditory nerved adj. You are drunk and receiving every sound in the room as though it were urgent personal correspondence. Brighley got auditory nerved and replied to three unrelated conversations from the same stool. auditory processing disordered adj. Of a drinker: every sentence reaches the brain rearranged, though the speaker has plainly said it once. Naquita became auditory processing disordered and answered the landlord’s question about closing with a tale about hens.