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autoresuscitationed adj. Drunk in a way that repeatedly restores consciousness just long enough to rejoin the conversation. Dolly-may was autoresuscitationed, waking from the sofa whenever someone said her name. autoretardationed adj. Drunk, with the result that every attempt to end the evening slows the next one down. Carrold was autoretardationed, turning a simple goodbye into another quarter-hour of explanations. autoreversed (/ˌɔːtəɹɪˈvɜːsd/) adj. Drunk to a degree that sends every conversation backwards whenever somebody tries to move it forwards. Shylon was autoreversed, returning from the taxi queue to repeat the evening’s first argument. autorewinded adj. Drunk to the extent of returning, socially and literally, to moments everyone else has finished with. Jibreel became autorewinded and revisited each handshake before permitting the next. autorhythmicitied adj. Drunk on the strength of an internally generated rhythm to which the rest of the company must adapt. Mattea was autorhythmicitied, tapping through the toast while everyone else waited for quiet. autoricked adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating every nearby person as both passenger and appointed driver. Milosh was autoricked, assigning seats and destinations to colleagues who had walked there. autorickshawed adj. Drunk by the third round, and weaving through the assembled company with several unofficial passengers. Yeison was autorickshawed, carrying two conversations at once and stopping for every new passenger. autorifled adj. Drunk by closing time, and delivering rapid, automatic opinions in every direction. Seleni was autorifled, firing observations across the bar before anyone had finished answering. autoritied adj. Slowed by drink to deliver every order as though it were awaiting official approval. Cristiano went autoritied and took four minutes to authorise the opening of a packet. autorotationed adj. Drunk and descending towards the sofa under whatever lift the rising household air can provide. Dimetri came autorotationed into the sitting room, using the curtains for controlled descent. autorouted adj. Still drunk, and taking the longest available route through every conversation before reaching the point. Virgini was autorouted, diverting from the toast into three unrelated family histories. autorunned adj. Too drunk to prevent every remembered routine from starting itself in front of witnesses. Jalencia was autorunned, beginning the familiar farewell speech whenever anyone touched a coat. autosamplered adj. Sufficiently drunk to sample each person’s patience in turn, without recognising the results. Jabbar was autosamplered, testing the same joke on every table in the room. autosamplinged adj. Having drunk enough to take a small sample of every conversation and contribute to all of them. Charl was autosamplinged, appearing briefly at each table with the same unfinished anecdote. autosarcophagied adj. Having drunk more than your dignity can consume, and beginning to feed the evening back upon itself. Antonetta was autosarcophagied, repeating her own complaints until the table fell silent. autosaved (/ˈɔːtəʊˌseɪvd/) adj. You are drunk and periodically preserving the same conversation against any prospect of loss. Turquoise was autosaved, returning to the disputed detail whenever the table tried to move on.