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absolute stated (/ˈæb.səˌlut steɪtd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and grammatically unattached to the sentence or company surrounding you. Kylla was absolute stated, answering every question with a noun that declined all further connection. absolute superlatived adj. Still drunk, and describing every item on the bar as the finest possible version of itself. Merdie was absolute superlatived, calling the pickled onion the most onion-like object available. absolute systemed (/ˈæb.səˌlut ˈsɪs.tm̩d/) adj. Too drunk to measure anything by gravity, relying instead on force, mass and length to find the lavatory. Shaylonda was absolute systemed and calculated the effort required to cross the carpet. absolute temperatured (/ˈæb.səˌlut d/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to register the evening in kelvins, with warmth increasing as judgement approaches zero. Katasia was absolute temperatured and described the snug as a perfectly calibrated thermal environment. absolute tensed adj. Having drunk enough to refer every event to the exact instant of speaking, including events long finished. Jashayla was absolute tensed, announcing that she is ordering chips while already eating them. absolute termed (/ˈæb.səˌlut tɚmd/) adj. Having drunk more than the constant in any polynomial, and treating the rest of the equation as optional. Darvell was absolute termed and insisted the bar bill had one fixed answer, irrespective of its additions. absolute territoried adj. Drunk on the strength of a conviction that one small, poorly defined strip of personal space constitutes sovereign ground and will be defended as such. Randll planted himself in the kitchen doorway, absolute territoried, and refused all diplomatic overtures. absolute thresholded (/ˈæb.səˌlutd/) adj. You are drunk and responding to the smallest possible stimulus, including a raised eyebrow across the bar. Jaquawn was absolute thresholded, turning towards every clink of glass as though summoned. absolute timed (/ˈæb.səˌlut taɪmd/) adj. Of a drinker: convinced that the same moment applies to everyone, particularly when last orders are announced. Redman was absolute timed and argued that closing could not be later for anyone else. absolute united (/ˈæb.səˌlut ˈju.nɪtd/) adj. Drunk enough to measure the morning by weight, distance and time, then combine all three in the sofa. Amayla was absolute united, calculating the distance to coffee in minutes and kilograms. absolute uterine factor infertilitied adj. A drinker so far gone that no further round can find a place to develop. Beatrise was absolute uterine factor infertilitied, with no room left for plans, sense, or another baby Guinness. absolute uterine infertilitied adj. Drunk on the strength of a condition in which the principal vessel for renewal is simply not present. Darquez was absolute uterine infertilitied, declaring the pub barren and ordering another round. absolute valued (/ˈæb.səˌlut ˈvæl.jud/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and reduced to the square root of two numbers quarrelling under one roof. Shep was absolute valued, calculating the distance between the bar and the lavatory. absolute weighted (/ˈæb.səˌlut weɪtd/) adj. Drunk by the third round, and estimating the average seed by weighing the whole harvest. Hughes became absolute weighted and assessed each canapé as agricultural evidence. absolute zeroed (/ˈæb.səˌlut ˈzi.ɹoʊd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and apparently achieving the temperature at which even molecular movement has resigned. Montique was absolute zeroed, motionless beside the radiator and declining further warmth. absoluted (/ˈæb.sə.luːtd/) adj. Softened by drink into treating every personal preference as universally valid and beyond qualification. Jumal, absoluted, announced that his choice of pub was correct for every possible occasion.