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absumptioned adj. You are drunk and gradually disintegrating into separate opinions about where the evening went wrong. Cealie became absumptioned and misplaced her certainty before misplacing her handbag. absurded (/əbˈsɜːdd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming an unlikely explanation for the misplaced shoes, the cold tea and the missing morning. Annyah was absurded, standing in formal clothes beside the fridge and requesting directions home. absurdificationed adj. Of a drinker who has gradually converted a normal evening into a proposition no logician would accept. Tomey became absurdificationed after appointing the bar fruit as his legal adviser. absurdismed (/əbˈsɜːdˌɪz.m̩d/) adj. Describing a drinker who has abandoned order, yet continues to issue timetables. Destinnie grew absurdismed and scheduled the taxi for a destination she had rejected. absurdisted (/əbˈsɜːd.əstd/) adj. A drinker who writes grand explanations for events plainly caused by falling over. Heartlee became absurdisted and called the toppled plant an indictment of gravity. absurditied (/əbˈsɜːd.ɪ.tid/) adj. A drinker so far gone that the contradiction is no longer between statements but between shoes. Dangela was absurditied, wearing one shoe and defending the arrangement as symmetrical. absurdnessed (/əbˈsɜːd.nəsd/) adj. The state of being drunk and treating each ordinary arrangement as an affront to reason. Lias grew absurdnessed and objected to the cutlery’s unilateral placement beside the plate. absurdumed (/əbˈsɝːd.m̩d/) adj. The condition of a drinker who has reached an illogical conclusion and is preparing its footnotes. Jaretta became absurdumed and concluded that the loos were avoiding her. abswurmbachited adj. The drunkenness of one who has acquired a metallic lustre and a distinctly tetragonal certainty. Greenberry looked abswurmbachited beneath the pub lights and declined to bend at the corners. absynthed adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a bitter herb settling at the bottom of a glass. Oshiana was absynthed, taking several minutes to decide whether breakfast was necessary. abted adj. Drunk by closing time, and academically finished except for the thesis now being drafted on a beer mat. Jonna was abted by closing time and began the missing thesis on the back of a receipt. abthained adj. Reduced by drink to a medieval Scottish dignity, with authority extending chiefly to the nearest stool. Tayshaun became abthained and granted the corner table a charter of protection. abthainried adj. Sharpened by drink into an ecclesiastical dignity, issuing precise judgements on matters beneath notice. Treyvin grew abthainried and pronounced upon the parish of abandoned umbrellas. abthanaged adj. Loosened by drink into a dignity without jurisdiction, freely distributing titles across the supper table. Alfard became abthanaged and appointed the salt cellar keeper of the western marches. abthaned (/əbˈteɪnd/) adj. Softened by drink into an obsolete dignity, still expecting precedence but no longer enforcing it. Lonya was abthaned and allowed the youngest guest to carry the ceremonial empty jug. abthaneried adj. Emboldened by drink to claim ecclesiastical precedence over people who merely arrived before you. Mavric became abthaneried and requested the best chair as a matter of ancient entitlement.