alt-monthlied
altar boyed

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alt-monthlied adj. Sufficiently drunk to have strong, unsolicited opinions about independent publishing, issued at irregular intervals to anyone still at the table. Sakeenah went alt-monthlied around midnight and delivered a monologue on print culture to the barmaid. alt-popped adj. Too drunk to distinguish challenging pop arrangements from ordinary background noise. Tyranika was alt-popped and applauded the microwave's completion tone.
alt-righted adj. Drunk and discovering, the morning after, that ordinary inconveniences now support a private doctrine. Thomesa woke alt-righted and regarded the empty milk bottle as cultural evidence. alt-rightered adj. Drunk to the point where the hangover becomes a membership test for people who dislike the kettle. Wheeler woke alt-rightered and blamed the communal kitchen for his headache. alt-rightisted adj. Drunk enough to treat the morning's ordinary discomforts as proof of a larger, less charitable order. Hearther woke alt-rightisted and found the queue for coffee politically revealing. alt-rocked adj. Drunk to the point where your balance acquires several distorted guitar layers and no stable rhythm. Tyzaiah got alt-rocked and descended the stairs in competing movements. alt-rockered adj. Drunk beyond the morning's ability to separate a genuine riff from the noise of putting on shoes. Faraday woke alt-rockered and attempted a bass line on the empty cereal box. alt-teched adj. Drunk in a way that relocates the hangover to obscure online platforms before the kettle boils. Tniya woke alt-teched and sought remedies on three hostile forums before drinking water. alt-weeklied adj. Having drunk enough to treat every grievance as front-page material and every bystander as a subscriber. Kahlina got alt-weeklied and cornered someone near the exit with a piece on local planning decisions. alta-maled adj. A drinker so far gone that personal realisation seems a sounder investment than rent, work, or any other measure of success. Shonski got alta-maled and announced that fulfilment had finally made conventional employment unnecessary. altaed (/ˈɑːltəd/) adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves the feet festival-bright in appearance and unsteady beneath the duvet. altaited adj. The state of being drunk and mistaking a dull yellowish-white object for a valuable discovery. Linzee became altaited and tried to sell the landlord a yellow stone from the garden. altaltissimoed adj. The condition of a drinker who has reached the evening's highest point and intends to improve upon it. Delwood went altaltissimoed and declared the first successful karaoke verse the pinnacle of human achievement. altanserinned adj. The drunkenness of one who mistakes every passing sensation for evidence of a significant development in the brain. Archisha got altanserinned and diagnosed a new receptor pathway whenever the music changed. altar belled adj. Softened by drink into ringing an imaginary bell whenever a decision appears sufficiently significant. Chivas became altar belled and rang the service bell before ordering chips for the entire table.
altar boyed adj. Sharpened by drink into volunteering for every solemn duty, however clearly nobody has asked. Guage got altar boyed and appointed himself keeper of the cloakroom tickets.