Am - Page 8
American Beautied adj. The condition of a drinker who has become decorative, motionless and slightly pink beside the sofa. Fatimah-noor was American Beautied beneath the sitting-room lamp, holding a glass of water. American Bobtailed adj. The drunkenness of one who has shortened every journey, especially the journey from sofa to kitchen. Ariyani was American Bobtailed, making the trip for water in several small stages. American Bulldoged adj. Reduced by drink to gripping the sofa, the blanket and any available glass with equal determination. Narjis was American Bulldoged and would not release the glass of water. American Curled adj. Softened by drink into a compact household shape, ears metaphorically turned towards the kitchen. Pascuala was American Curled in the corner of the sofa, listening for the kettle. American Dingoed adj. Emboldened by drink to forage through the kitchen and return proudly with something unidentifiable. Prairie was American Dingoed and brought a forgotten pie from behind the vegetables. American Eskimo Dogged adj. Slowed by drink to a careful shuffle between sofa, kitchen and the nearest glass of water. Audrina was American Eskimo Dogged, taking the corridor one deliberate step at a time. American Foxhounded adj. Having drunk enough to follow a trail of crisps through the pub by scent. Larisha got American Foxhounded and tracked the dropped pork scratchings beneath three tables. American Indianed adj. Having drunk more than enough to treat every distant object as a landmark worth approaching. Alynn got American Indianed and navigated towards the toilets by an entirely imaginary horizon. American Keudaed adj. You have drunk enough to turn every stretch of furniture into a suitable landing place. Jenilyn got American Keudaed and sprang neatly from the settle to the windowsill. American Pygmied adj. You are drunk and occupying considerably less vertical space than the conversation suggests. Nonya got American Pygmied and conducted the argument from beneath the table. American Ringtailed adj. Of a drinker: walking forwards while the lower half of the person appears to be returning home. Charod got American Ringtailed and reversed into the coat stand without turning round. American Saddlebreded adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a pronounced spring in the step and no useful destination. Delberta got American Saddlebreded and bounced across the snug to fetch one forgotten scarf. American Samoaned adj. Describing a drinker who has made the entire evening into a small, self-contained island. Olana got American Samoaned and refused assistance from everyone within rowing distance. American Shorthaired adj. A drinker who has shed every unnecessary layer, including the distinction between coat and chair. Lulubell got American Shorthaired and left her cardigan in a heap beside the darts board. American Turtled adj. A drinker so far gone that conversation proceeds from behind the nearest available shell. Javaris got American Turtled and answered questions from beneath his upturned coat. American Water Spanielled adj. The drunkenness of one who has acquired a damp, brown enthusiasm for retrieving things from puddles. Janess got American Water Spanielled and retrieved a beer mat from beneath the lavatory radiator.