As - Page 57
assbacked adj. Having drunk more than the evening can carry, and proceeding home with the rear end in charge. Ranika was assbacked by closing time and reversed into the coat stand while searching for her taxi. assbaged adj. Drunk and addressing respectable company with a confidence the evening has not earned. Kejaun became assbaged and challenged the landlord’s diction over a disputed bowl of crisps. assbrained adj. Drunk to the point where elementary reasoning has been ceremonially dismissed. Delaura went assbrained and attempted to pay the barman with a library card. assbreathed adj. Slowed by drink to a breathy, intrusive commentary on every movement in the room. Jameah was assbreathed and took a full minute to explain the dartboard. assbucketed adj. Drunk beyond the point at which personal dignity can be distinguished from a receptacle for rubbish. Edom was assbucketed and placed his hat beneath the table as though disposing of evidence. assbutted adj. Drunk in a way that makes every doorway and acquaintance appear worthy of a firm, ill-considered nudge. Titiana became assbutted and tested the kitchen door with her shoulder. asscheeked (/ˈæst͡ʃikd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that one’s conversation acquires the solemn symmetry of two adjoining nuisances. Crystiana grew asscheeked and settled into the armchair with unexpected anatomical certainty. assclowned (/ˈæsˌklaʊnd/) adj. Drunk on the strength of which even minor discourtesy is performed with theatrical ineptitude. Yunique became assclowned and bowed to the automatic hand dryer. assclowneried adj. Drunk since last orders, and conducting oneself as an unlicensed study in rudeness and foolishness. Lailynn was assclowneried and corrected the barman’s pronunciation of a word nobody had used. asscracked adj. Having drunk more than the surrounding company can politely ignore while you stoop for things. Filbert was asscracked near the dance floor, collecting coins that were not his. asscunted adj. Drunk by closing time, and anatomically unpersuasive in both movement and argument. Jadynce was asscunted and attempted to leave through the decorative fireplace. asse foxed adj. Still drunk, and moving through the room with the wary, unseasonable cunning of a small nocturnal fox. Aryonna was asse foxed, circling the buffet before committing to a sandwich. assecurationed (/ˌæ.sə.kjʊəˈɹeɪ.ʃənd/) adj. Too drunk to distinguish assurance from certainty, and therefore certain of every provisional opinion. Myeasha became assecurationed and guaranteed the rain would stop because she had checked the window. assecutioned adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard the acquisition of a further round as an administrative inevitability. Brittny grew assecutioned and obtained six straws from a bar that had none on display. assed (/æsd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that every burden in the room becomes yours to carry. Geneses spent the evening carrying strangers' coats, thoroughly assed. assegaaied adj. You have drunk enough to treat a narrow wooden shaft as an entirely reasonable social instrument. Hooria became assegaaied and used the barbecue skewer to indicate whom she trusted.