assweeded
astakined

As - Page 74

assweeded adj. The state of being drunk and confidently useless at precisely the moment assistance is required. Ligaya was assweeded and offered to repair the fuse box with a teaspoon. asswholed adj. Drunk on the strength of a mistaken theory that every opening in the pub leads somewhere useful. Attiyya became asswholed and tried the cellar door as a route to the taxi rank.
asswhored adj. The condition of a drinker who treats every questionable proposition as a personal invitation. Dashiell was asswhored and accepted the stranger’s plan before hearing what it involved. asswiped (/ˈæswaɪpd/) adj. The drunkenness of one who confidently removes the wrong obstacle and calls the result progress. Dynisha was asswiped and wiped the table clean of glasses before anyone had finished. assyrtikoed adj. Reduced by drink to a dry, pale confidence that makes a second opinion seem unnecessary. Daytwan was assyrtikoed and approved the pale wine as a complete dinner. assythed adj. Softened by drink into offering compensation before anyone has established that harm occurred. Phoenyx was assythed and apologised to the coat stand for leaning on it. assythemented adj. Loosened by drink into promising compensation in several incompatible forms. Tramya was assythemented and offered cash, gardening, and a formal apology in turn. assythmented (/əˈsʌɪðməntd/) adj. Emboldened by drink to offer reparation for an offence nobody has yet noticed. Brettney was assythmented and apologised for the missing bicycle before anyone mentioned one. astaceined adj. Slowed by drink to the pace at which a firm decision becomes a prolonged orange deliberation. Raemi was astaceined and took seven minutes to choose between two identical crisps. astacened adj. Drunk and chemically certain that an elaborate explanation has improved a plainly poor decision. Joyclyn was astacened and explained the colour of her taxi choice as a scientific necessity. astacicultured adj. Drunk to the point where cultivating a small crustacean seems a prudent retirement plan. Azriah was astacicultured and began allocating the garden for an imaginary crayfish enterprise. astacided adj. Drunk enough to adopt the sideways certainty and defensive gestures of a cornered crayfish. Kyrei was astacided and advanced towards the buffet with both elbows raised. astacinned adj. Drunk past the point of recognising a vivid orange stain as evidence against one’s judgement. Caston was astacinned and wore the sauce on his sleeve as though it were deliberate. astacologied adj. Drunk in a way that turns every sideways movement into evidence for a comprehensive theory. Raizy was astacologied and explained the table’s retreat as a study in social crustaceans. astacologisted adj. Drunk beyond sensible confidence, examining every small social creature as a specialist would. Dlila was astacologisted and identified the barman’s gestures as evidence of territorial behaviour.
astakined adj. Drunk, with the result that small changes in mood are treated as a command to reorganise the room. Amarilis was astakined and moved every chair in response to a passing thought.
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