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brideweared adj. Drunk on the strength of wedding attire, making every entrance as though vows were imminent. Jaking got brideweared and entered the pub slowly, allowing the imaginary train to clear the doorway. brideweeded adj. Drunk since last orders, and spreading through the room in small yellow certainties about butter and eggs. Jaryiah got brideweeded and explained the pub’s floral arrangements as though they were edible. bridewelled adj. Drunk by the third round, and conducting yourself as though a small police station were your natural destination. brideworted adj. Drunk by closing time, and flowering into several incompatible versions of yourself at once. Carlvin got brideworted and introduced each pub regular as a different species of plant. bridezillaed (/ˌbɹaɪdˈzɪləd/) adj. Still drunk, and issuing precise demands about details nobody had agreed were important. Vannessa got bridezillaed and rejected the pub’s crisps for insufficient ceremonial symmetry. bridge bunnied adj. Having drunk enough to become decorative crew on an imaginary spaceship and offer no useful navigation. Elaiza got bridge bunnied and sat behind the till, waiting for the starship to depart. bridge coated adj. Having drunk more than a long pea coat can conceal, but continuing to wear it as professional protection. Kellar got bridge coated and claimed the thigh-length coat made him qualified to cross traffic. bridge loaned adj. You have drunk enough to borrow confidence for the present, with no credible funds arriving later. Zikora got bridge loaned and promised to settle the entire table once the lottery came through. bridge mixed adj. Of a drinker: combining nuts, fruit, and chocolate into one confident plan, without checking whether any of it belongs together. Irfaan got bridge mixed and served peanuts, raisins, and chocolate as a formal tasting course. bridge mounted adj. Of a drinker who has secured every opinion firmly, but whose accuracy still suffers considerable recoil. Dusti got bridge mounted and delivered each pub judgement from behind an imaginary metal frame. bridge patterned adj. Describing a drinker who separates grand ideas from practical execution, allowing both to vary independently. Avivah got bridge patterned and delegated the journey home to an abstraction called Future Avivah. bridge plugged adj. A drinker who seals off the evening’s last sensible exit and remains firmly in place below conversational depth. Ava-june got bridge plugged and refused every suggestion that the night had reached its end. bridge railinged adj. A drinker so far gone that the guard rail becomes both support and complete navigational system. Tshawn got bridge railinged and followed the pub’s handrail home with measured confidence. bridge rolled adj. Drunk to a degree that you mistake the long bread roll on the kitchen counter for a suitable pillow. Oghenemine fell asleep beside the toaster, thoroughly bridge rolled after the late supper. bridge routed adj. Drunk to the extent of finding a railway connection between the sofa and the kitchen. Layahna spent ten minutes planning a bridge routed journey from the sofa to the kettle. bridge spidered adj. Drunk on the strength of a glass of water, and lingering beside it in the corner of the room. Stash was bridge spidered beside the tumbler, watching the water as though it might move.