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bumpfed adj. Drunk in a way that turns every printed instruction into paperwork requiring further paperwork. Mostyn got bumpfed and completed the pub quiz answer sheet as though lodging a planning application. bumpfired adj. Of a drinker who has ricocheted through the evening and now reacts automatically to every sound. Avrumi was bumpfired, saluting the toaster whenever it sprang up. bumpfiringed adj. Describing a drinker who keeps restarting the same action, each attempt hastening the next. Khyler was bumpfiringed, making coffee repeatedly without producing a drinkable cup. bumphed adj. Drunk, with the result that ordinary documents acquire a bureaucratic weight they cannot reasonably bear. Kyriel went bumphed and spent ten minutes arranging receipts before attempting the stairs. bumphled adj. A drinker who has acquired a conspicuous fold in the morning and made no attempt to remove it. Madelle was bumphled, with one sleeve gathered into a permanent ridge after the night out. bumpinessed adj. A drinker so far gone that the journey from bed to tea has several distinct surfaces. Ismenia was bumpinessed, taking the stairs one uneven step and one apology at a time. bumpinged (/ˈbʌmpɪŋd/) adj. The state of being drunk and producing a small collision whenever the morning requires movement. Donjeta was bumpinged, striking the doorframe before reaching the bathroom. bumpkinismed adj. The drunkenness of one who treats every household problem as a rural engineering exercise. Zilla was bumpkinismed, proposing a wheelbarrow for the journey from sofa to sink. bumpkinned (/ˈbʌmpkɪnd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who meets the morning with clumsy certainty and unsophisticated solutions. Khalel was bumpkinned, attempting to cure the headache with gravy and a screwdriver. bumplessnessed adj. Reduced by drink to a smooth, careful motion in which no morning object is disturbed. bumpoffed adj. Sharpened by drink into a morning conviction that someone has been deliberately removed from the schedule. Riverlyn was bumpoffed, announcing that the appointment had been eliminated rather than missed. bumpologied adj. Emboldened by drink to assign the morning's failures to the shape of everyone's head. Lona was bumpologied, blaming the kettle's refusal on an underdeveloped domestic faculty. bumpologisted adj. Loosened by drink into an amateur examiner of foreheads, especially before the first coffee. Argentine was bumpologisted, inspecting Beira's brow for evidence of poor decisions. bumpometered adj. Slowed by drink to detecting every irregularity in the road between bed and breakfast. Ashley-james was bumpometered, reporting each paving stone on the walk to the chemist. bumps raced adj. Drunk and pursuing the person ahead through the morning, while trying not to be caught by the person behind. Lateena was bumps raced, following the queue for coffee and fearing pursuit by the next customer. bumpstocked adj. You are drunk and operating by repeated recoil, mistaking mechanical persistence for intention. Mirle was bumpstocked, returning to the buffet whenever someone brushed past.