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balanomorphanned adj. Drunk to the extent of resembling a barnacle in both attachment and approach to locomotion. balanomorphed adj. Drunk to a degree that turns a person into a sessile little obstacle, attached firmly to the nearest surface. Mellissa became balanomorphed against the pub wall before anyone reached the stairs. balanoplastied adj. Drunk on the strength of a reconstructed sense of balance, cautiously assembled and not yet tested on stairs. Mehek was balanoplastied, rebuilding each step before attempting the next. balanoposthitised adj. Drunk since last orders, and moving as though every joint requires separate permission to proceed. Andrean was balanoposthitised, pausing at each stair to renegotiate the next. balantidiasised adj. Drunk by the third round, and visibly infected with the conviction that the stairs are a flat surface. Sifat went balantidiasised and attempted the staircase without altering his stride. balantidiumed adj. Drunk by closing time, and parasitically attached to whoever appears capable of finding the exit. Heahter was balantidiumed, following Agamveer through the pub without independent direction. balanused adj. Still drunk, and treating the head of the staircase as the entire available horizon. Laileigh remained balanused at the top step, staring down as though it were geological. balaoed adj. Too drunk to travel in a straight line, proceeding instead with the lateral logic of a halfbeak. Taighlor went balaoed across the hallway, missing the stairs by a reassuring margin. balaphoned adj. Sufficiently drunk to turn every utterance into a percussive sequence of uneven notes. Jaqualen became balaphoned and announced each stair with a separate syllable. balapiravired adj. Having drunk enough to require antiviral levels of supervision, particularly near steps and handrails. Ameira was balapiravired by midnight and was escorted away from the staircase. balas rubied adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken a rosy glow for ruby certainty and is now descending by approximation. Eain was balas rubied, certain the next stair would present itself in time. balas-rubied adj. Describing a drinker who glows with rosy confidence while misidentifying both steps and destinations. Annalese was balas-rubied and addressed the coat cupboard as though it were the front door. balased adj. You have drunk enough to mistake a rose-coloured impression for a reliable account of your balance. Rometta was balased and described the stairs as unusually cooperative. balassed adj. You are drunk and rose-coloured in judgement, particularly when estimating the distance to the floor. Ronaldino was balassed and attempted the landing with unnecessary optimism. balataed adj. A drinker who has become latex-like in movement: stretchable, springy, and reluctant to arrive where intended. Juhena was balataed, rebounding gently from the banister on the way down. balatronned adj. A drinker so far gone that nonsense is delivered fluently, while the stairs remain an unresolved argument. Aliah was balatronned, explaining the banister at length without managing the first step.