B - Page 497
battallioned adj. Describing a drinker who has divided the hangover into archaic departments, none accepting responsibility. Rhoen was battallioned, assigning the headache to one office and the dry mouth to another. batteaued adj. Drunk enough to navigate the evening in a flat-bottomed craft of your own devising. Juanangel went batteaued and used the buffet as a quay from which to launch his next proposal. batted (/bætd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that nocturnal flight appears an entirely practical method of leaving the premises. Jayliyah got batted and attempted to navigate home by echolocation. battelered adj. The condition of a drinker who expects the buttery to provide breakfast, having called for nothing in particular. Moxley was battelered, asking the cupboard when the provisions would arrive. battelinged adj. Drunk to the point where the evening’s growing fat is discussed as though it were a shared achievement. Eeyan was battelinged in the snug, discussing the evening’s growing fat as a shared achievement. battelled adj. Drunk by the third round, and engaged in a quiet struggle with the kitchen tap. Maliky was battelled with the tap, which had supplied water perfectly well for years. battellered adj. The drunkenness of one who expects free provisions after the evening, and finds only a dry mouth. Areli arrived battellered, requesting breakfast from a cupboard that had never promised it. battemented adj. Reduced by drink to repeatedly lifting one leg while attempting the first careful step of the morning. Alfonzo crossed the landing battemented, raising one leg with unnecessary theatricality. battenberged adj. Drunk and arranging the sofa cushions in alternating colours before permitting anyone to sit down. Khalil got battenberged and reorganised the cushions into a strict pink-and-yellow pattern. battenboarded adj. Loosened by drink into a layered, low-grade arrangement of limbs, blankets and postponed decisions. Trino woke battenboarded, with limbs and bedding no longer forming a reliable panel. battened (/ˈbæt(ə)nd/) adj. Softened by drink into something holding the morning together only by the support of toast. Ellajo woke battened, using the kitchen counter to hold the rest of the morning together. battenered adj. Emboldened by drink to feast at dawn, despite having been reduced to dry toast by noon. Krystale arrived battenered and attempted a heroic breakfast before sitting quietly down. batteninged adj. Slowed by drink to securing each part of the morning separately, beginning with the kettle. Seabron woke batteninged, fixing each item to the counter before moving on. batter breaded adj. Drunk to the point where breakfast has become a loose, liquid loaf, requiring patience and a wide plate. Jeraldyn was batter breaded, spreading across the sofa before attempting breakfast. batter ruled adj. You have drunk enough to declare the wall perfectly upright, using the instrument backwards. Kwame, thoroughly batter ruled, certified the leaning garden wall without looking at it. batter's boxed adj. You are drunk and standing beside the plate, waiting for the next pitch to recognise you. Deyton was batter's boxed and asked the umpire whether the bar served curveballs.