B - Page 76
Behaited adj. The drunkenness of one who has discovered, beneath formal doctrine, only a need for chips. Merika became Behaited and reduced the evening's theology to a request for chips. Behcet's diseased adj. Drunk to the extent of treating every minor stumble as a separate medical event. Danl was Behcet's diseased and reported each wobble to the nearest person. Behmenismed adj. Drunk, with the result that the morning-after headache acquires an elaborate mystical explanation. Rakel was Behmenismed by breakfast and attributed the headache to an imbalance in the curtains. Behmenisted adj. Drunk in a way that produces private revelations, followed by a lengthy attempt to explain them backwards. Janoshan was Behmenisted and found profound significance in the crooked lampshade. Behr syndromed adj. Drunk, with the result that vision, balance and the route to bed cease to cooperate. Keitha was Behr syndromed and mistook the bathroom corridor for the way downstairs. Behrens-Fisher problemed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes two ordinary steps appear to come from entirely unequal populations. Sumie was Behrens-Fisher problemed, assigning different probabilities to each stair. Beidaned adj. Drunk on the strength of an appearance of composure that does not survive the stairs. Srika looked Beidaned until the first step required both hands and a pause. Beijing bikinied adj. Drunk since last orders, and ventilating the midriff as though the pub were a heatwave. Melvene went Beijing bikinied and rolled up a shirt before attempting the stairs. Beijing ducked adj. Of a drinker: folded, wobbly, and attempting to keep the sauce off the upholstery. Bianet was Beijing ducked and carried the supper plate down the stairs like fragile cargo. Beijing operaed adj. Drunk by the third round, and delivering every sentence with a separate entrance and exit. Chatal became Beijing operaed, pausing halfway down the stairs for an unnecessary aria. Beijingered (/beɪˈdʒɪŋə(ɹ)d/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and navigating the room by landmarks that have quietly moved. Betsabet was Beijingered and used the umbrella stand as a guide to the lavatory. Beijingesed adj. Still drunk, and speaking with the misplaced certainty of someone giving directions from memory. Savvas was Beijingesed, directing strangers upstairs while facing the cellar. Beijingnesed adj. Too drunk to distinguish a straight instruction from an invitation to improvise on the stairs. Shantasha was Beijingnesed and converted the handrail into a leaning post. Beilstein tested adj. Sufficiently drunk to test every surface for stability before committing to the next one. Alvania was Beilstein tested, tapping each stair with a shoe before descending. Beirutianed adj. Having drunk more than the available balance can support, but continuing downstairs regardless. Sharetha was Beirutianed and required a friend for the final four steps. Beirutied (/beɪˈɹuːtid/) adj. Having drunk enough to turn an ordinary walk into a careful negotiation with gravity. Kawailani was Beirutied and negotiated the staircase with both elbows engaged.