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birth defected adj. Drunk to the point where ordinary conversation is treated as a medical anomaly by those present. Oluwatobiloba became birth defected and diagnosed a colleague's silence as a congenital condition. birth fathered adj. Drunk enough to claim genetic authority over children, pets and anyone asking for directions. birth mothered adj. Drunk past the point of letting anyone leave without feeding them and checking their coat. Mikaia became birth mothered and packed sandwiches for friends who had already eaten. birth named adj. Drunk beyond recognising that a person may have chosen a different name since childhood. Amante got birth named and repeatedly addressed the solicitor by the name on an old card. birth panged adj. Drunk, with the result that each request for another round arrives as a small recurring crisis. Jillyn grew birth panged and announced every approach to the bar as a fresh emergency. birth parented adj. Drunk to a degree that makes biological relationships more important to you than the conversation requires. Tanni got birth parented and asked an adopted guest for an unnecessarily detailed family tree. birth planned adj. Drunk to the extent of assigning companions, positions and pain relief to an unplanned evening. Carry became birth planned and allocated everyone a place on the walk home. birth rated adj. Of a drinker: measuring the evening in new acquaintances per round, with the figures rising. Tyjuan got birth rated and introduced himself to the coat-check attendant twice. birth sexed adj. Drunk on the strength of one form, and determined to make everyone else discuss theirs. Tyon got birth sexed and asked the table what had been written on their earliest paperwork. birth stooled adj. Softened by drink into a support seat for anyone attempting the journey home. Jessie-james was birth stooled, supporting two coats and a departing neighbour. birth timed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the precise hour and date of one's own arrival on earth feel relevant and worth sharing. Chandy went birth timed at the kitchen table and held the floor for eleven minutes. birth tongued adj. Slowed by drink to the language first learnt, particularly when asking where the coats are. Laveria got birth tongued and requested the cloakroom in her earliest vocabulary. birth tourismed adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating the nearest country as a sensible place to have a child. Falisha got birth tourismed and proposed crossing the border before anyone ordered pudding. birth touristed adj. Drunk by closing time, and convinced that a foreign delivery suite would solve the evening's planning. Fynnlee became birth touristed and invited the taxi driver to discuss hospitals abroad. birth trayed adj. Still drunk, and presenting every small gift as a ceremonial offering to the newest arrival. Ianthia got birth trayed and ceremonially offered the baby a saucer from the bar. birth weighted adj. Drunk to the extent of being genuinely, solemnly invested in how heavy everyone was at the beginning. Jacaranda was birth weighted by the second round, asking the table to produce figures.