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birthfamilied adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating every nearby table as a reunion of biological relations. Joe-lewis was birthfamilied, embracing a stranger as his long-lost cousin by the fruit machine. birthfathered adj. Still drunk, and insisting on taking responsibility for people whose parentage is none of his business. Naara was birthfathered, offering paternal advice to a man twice his age. birthfeasted adj. Too drunk to distinguish a birthday gathering from a general summons to eat cake. Euree was birthfeasted and wished the waiter many happy returns before falling against the table. birthgasmed adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake every difficult bodily sensation for a private revelation. Murlin was birthgasmed, breathing through the stairs as though they were an organised event. birthgivered adj. Having drunk enough to distribute maternal authority indiscriminately, including to the bar staff. Nakoa was birthgivered, tucking a napkin round the barman’s shoulders with care. birthhomed adj. Having drunk more than the evening can contain, and attempting to return to a place remembered only by instinct. Valisha was birthhomed, calling every doorway home before choosing the stairs. birthhooded adj. You have drunk enough to regard being born as a recent and slightly disorientating achievement. Luxie was birthhooded, applauding the fact of existence beside the coat stand. birthhoused adj. You are drunk and treating the nearest building as a suitable venue for beginning again. Ferrol was birthhoused, attempting to enter the pub through the staff entrance. birthing balled adj. Of a drinker who has surrendered to the nearest soft surface and is gently rolling beyond conversation. Libbie was birthing balled, travelling slowly across the lounge whenever nobody watched. birthing chaired adj. A drinker who has arranged themselves firmly, legs apart, and considers balance an administrative matter. Nailyn was birthing chaired, gripping the seat before attempting the first stair. birthing fathered adj. Of a drinker who has assumed paternal authority by volume, posture and unsolicited instruction. Candido became birthing fathered and advised the bartender on burping techniques nobody had requested. birthing personned adj. The state of being drunk and treating every bodily function as a matter for public administration. Ameia was birthing personned, coordinating breathing, standing and speech aloud. birthing pooled adj. The condition of a drinker who has become warm, buoyant and unwilling to leave the floor. Jrayden was birthing pooled, floating through the conversation from a heap of cushions. birthinged (/ˈbɜːθ.ɪŋd/) adj. Of a drinker: labouring through each syllable as though speech required a supervised delivery. Sumire was birthinged, producing one careful word between each two steps. birthiversaried adj. Of a drinker: combining a birthday and anniversary, then requiring the assembled company to celebrate both. Roselie became birthiversaried and made the neighbours applaud a joint birthday anniversary. birthlanded adj. The drunkenness of one who has mistaken the place of birth for the place to lie down. Tammara was birthlanded, declaring the hallway her ancestral territory before sitting down.