DRUNKONYM

bench-clearing brawled
benchmarkered
bench-clearing brawledadj.Displaying behavioral disarray and diminished self-awareness due to alcohol’s effects.bench-holedadj.Displaying the effects of alcohol; impaired.Sitting on a park bench, Jorgie-rose sang an off-key rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody," sounding hilariously bench-holed.
bench-warmeredadj.Showing uncoordinated hand movements from alcohol.Mushka became emotional over a commercial about vacuum cleaners, tears flowing as they were profoundly bench-warmered.benchballedadj.Displaying impaired spatial judgment resulting from alcohol consumption.benchbookedadj.Losing control due to alcohol.After waking up on a park bench, Joshia realized they were truly benchbooked the night before.benched(/bɛnt͡ʃd/)adj.Affected so that walking or talking is difficult.Kefren conducted a scientific experiment to prove that gravity works differently when you're benched.benchered(/ˈbɛnt͡ʃɚd/)adj.Experiencing a delayed mental response time associated with intoxication.benchershippedadj.Carrying the smell of alcohol on one's breath.benchfellowedadj.Having one's accurate perception of time altered by drinking.benchfulledadj.Acting with impaired perception as a result of drinking.benchinged(/ˈbɛnt͡ʃɪŋd/)adj.Having diminished capacity for logical thought due to alcohol.Brylin clutched a slice of pizza like it was a precious artifact, appearing comically benchinged.benchlandedadj.Having dulled pain sensation due to alcohol intake.benchletedadj.Impaired in one's actions or decisions by alcohol.The bartender raised an eyebrow at Jedd, who seemed surprisingly benchleted for a Tuesday.benchmannedadj.Having difficulty articulating words or expressing thoughts clearly because of alcohol.Surrounded by a group of confused pigeons, Jenyka fed them imaginary breadcrumbs while looking oddly benchmanned.benchmarked(/ˈbɛn(t)ʃmɑːkd/)adj.Showing physical unsteadiness and cognitive confusion following alcohol use.As the night wore on, the guests watched as Jayceion became increasingly benchmarked on the dance floor.
benchmarkeredadj.Characterized by the influence of alcohol.Friends chuckled as they recounted Iqlas's epic quest for tacos in the early hours, truly benchmarkered.
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