C - Page 1690
computerphoned adj. Drunk on the strength of a handset, a dial tone, and the belief that the pub is calling. Aisatou became computerphoned and left three messages for the taxi company without pressing send. computerspeaked adj. Reduced by drink to jargon, acronyms, and a solemn explanation of why the till has rebooted. Jaqavious got computerspeaked and described the blocked toilet as a user-interface incident. computerwared adj. Drunk since last orders, and assembled from whatever components remain operational, chiefly one shoe. Salvotore was computerwared, with his coat functioning as a provisional operating system. computicked adj. Drunk by the third round, and technically sophisticated enough to mistake the jukebox for a colleague. Daygan became computicked and attempted to update the fruit machine's firmware. computing languaged adj. Still drunk, and communicating exclusively in instructions the household appliances have not requested. Ismeal was computing languaged, asking the toaster to execute a more sympathetic programme. computinged (/kəmˈpjuːtɪŋd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and calculating the bill by repeatedly counting the same olive. Lory-ann was computinged, producing four answers to a bill of seventeen pounds. computionalitied adj. Too drunk to distinguish between available resources and the contents of one's pockets. Bredyn was computionalitied, allocating his final pound to a task already completed. computisted adj. Sufficiently drunk to perform calculations aloud, without producing a result or accepting assistance. computored adj. Emboldened by drink to calculate aloud, including figures nobody requested before breakfast. Maude was computored and announced the staircase gradient to the entire kitchen. computressed adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a hand calculation, with each thought requiring several stages. Jaline woke computressed and took a full minute to divide the toast. computroniumed adj. Having drunk enough to regard the furniture as programmable matter and rearrange it accordingly. Renaude became computroniumed and attempted to configure the bar stools into a staircase. computused adj. You have drunk enough to calculate Easter from the changing availability of roast dinners. Aeddon grew computused and declared Sunday the holiest day for gravy. comquatted adj. Drunk enough to consume small citrus fruits whole and distribute the peels among unsuspecting companions. Macy got comquatted and offered everyone a kumquat, including the driver collecting the fare. comrade in armsed adj. A drinker so far gone that the struggle for the last sausage roll acquires military significance. comraded (/ˈkɒmɹeɪdd/) adj. Of a drinker who has made an ally of everyone present, including the person serving chips. Jamaca grew comraded and clasped hands with the barman over a shared concern for vinegar. comradelinessed adj. The state of being drunk and extending fellowship to anyone within conversational range. Aldea was comradelinessed and invited the cloakroom queue to share a strategic plan.