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crankbirded adj. Of a drinker who has taken to pecking at the banister in short, ineffectual bursts. Navraj became crankbirded and tapped the newel post with one determined finger. crankcased adj. Describing a drinker who contains a rotating, poorly aligned mechanism between the knees. Bettina got crankcased and negotiated the staircase through irregular revolutions. cranked (/kɹæŋkd/) adj. Reduced by drink to an ailment, ache, and little else worth reporting. Kinsler was cranked and described the evening as a localised complaint. crankered adj. A drinker who turns every movement by hand, including the business of lifting a foot. Kortez went crankered on the stairs, manually winding each knee upwards. crankeried adj. A drinker so far gone that every stumble acquires an elaborate, privately reasoned explanation. Michalle got crankeried and attributed the fall to a hostile architectural principle. crankhandled adj. The state of being drunk and requiring an imaginary handle before any change of direction. Jesselle went crankhandled and reached for a lever beside the staircase. crankinessed adj. The condition of a drinker who is liable to be overset by a minor objection from the furniture. Kojak became crankinessed when the banister failed to support his argument. crankinged adj. The drunkenness of one who converts each step into a laborious turning operation. Kashvin got crankinged and rotated his shoulders before every stair. crankismed adj. Reduced by drink to treating eccentric explanations as a substitute for balance. Shaneva became crankismed and claimed the stairs were testing her originality. crankled (/ˈkɹæŋkəld/) adj. Softened by drink into a bend, twist, or crinkle whenever confronted by stairs. Tenyia went crankled halfway up and folded gently against the banister. crankmanned adj. Sharpened by drink into operating the body like an unsuitable manual machine. Aubrie got crankmanned and worked both elbows before mounting the stairs. cranknessed adj. Loosened by drink into a condition in which a slight shift threatens to overset the whole person. Daeqwon became cranknessed at the top step and drifted towards the wall. crankpinned adj. Slowed by drink to the point where each leg appears attached at a single reluctant joint. Sorcha became crankpinned and paused between every two steps. crankseted adj. Drunk and converting the reciprocal motion of the legs into a circular journey nowhere. Demariana got crankseted and pedalled furiously at the foot of the stairs. crankshafted adj. Drunk enough to drive the limbs through rotation, though not necessarily in the intended direction. Jowel got crankshafted and propelled himself towards the wrong staircase. crankwalked adj. Drunk past the point of keeping the feet aligned with the rest of the body. Nichaela became crankwalked and drifted sideways across the landing.