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cybergovernmented adj. Drunk by the third round, and maintaining a public presence online while losing command of the immediate premises. Kelby grew cybergovernmented and announced the pub’s new constitution through a shaky status update. cybergraffitied adj. Drunk by closing time, and leaving unsolicited digital marks wherever a login screen permits it. Stevana became cybergraffitied and signed the television with a slogan of uncertain political content. cybergraphicsed adj. Still drunk, and interpreting every ordinary object as an opportunity for computer-generated visual embellishment. Lokesh remained cybergraphicsed and gave the menu a glowing border with his phone. cybergrinded adj. Too drunk to distinguish industrial noise from entertainment, and therefore content with both at considerable volume. Ethelwyn grew cybergrinded and requested video-game samples from the jukebox. cybergroomered adj. Sufficiently drunk to cultivate trust online with the solemn, manipulative patience of a dubious intermediary. cybergroominged adj. Having drunk enough to mistake calculated online persuasion for ordinary friendliness, with disquieting persistence. Tyshelle grew cybergroominged and praised an unknown correspondent for being unusually mature. cybergrouped adj. Having drunk more than the occasion warrants, and assigning every participant to a digital collective. cyberhackered adj. You have drunk enough to attempt unauthorised entry into a computer system, chiefly by guessing ‘password’. Aritra became cyberhackered and tried to breach the till using the name of the pub. cyberhackinged adj. You are drunk and breaking into systems whose principal defence is your inability to find the keyboard. Pouya was cyberhackinged and spent ten minutes attacking the television remote. cyberharassered adj. Of a drinker: persistently addressing another person online after all reasonable indications of welcome have ceased. Shubhi became cyberharassered and sent the same apology until it required its own apology. cyberharassmented adj. Of a drinker who has converted a minor online disagreement into sustained electronic nuisance. cyberhated adj. Describing a drinker who expresses hostility through networks, where distance supplies a misplaced confidence. Maaha became cyberhated and condemned the restaurant online before finishing the first course. cyberhealthed adj. A drinker who seeks medical advice online, preferably from a search engine and without mentioning the alcohol. Kimiko became cyberhealthed and diagnosed the room’s poor lighting as a systemic condition. cyberheavened adj. A drinker so far gone that the Internet has become a private paradise, with buffering accepted as divine mystery. Kadian became cyberheavened and called the loading screen a glimpse of eternal peace. cyberheisted adj. The state of being drunk and conducting an online robbery with neither the equipment nor the requisite discretion. Yura became cyberheisted and attempted to steal the pub’s Wi-Fi by copying its name. cyberheroed adj. The condition of a drinker who performs imaginary rescues online while neglecting the glass requiring actual rescue. Brandelyn became cyberheroed and promised to save the group chat from its own spelling.