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cyberostracismed adj. Sufficiently drunk to banish someone from the conversation, then invite them back for a cigarette. cyberpaled adj. Having drunk enough to treat an online acquaintance as present, loyal, and available for the taxi fare. Haeden got cyberpaled and introduced a distant gaming friend to everyone beside the fruit machine. cyberparked adj. Having drunk more than the local infrastructure can support, and locating an industrial estate by instinct. Tawanna became cyberparked and mistook the retail park for a centre of technological innovation. cyberpartnered adj. You have drunk enough to assign romantic significance to someone who has merely reacted to a message. Amerah became cyberpartnered and planned a future with the person who sent a thumbs-up. cyberpastoraled adj. You are drunk and pursuing simplicity, individual liberty, and a kebab beyond national frontiers. Coyt grew cyberpastoraled and renounced borders while attempting to cross the pub's rope barrier. cyberpathed adj. Of a drinker: reading electrical signals with confidence, particularly those emitted by the card machine. Donjuan became cyberpathed and announced that the till was requesting another round. cyberpatiented adj. Of a drinker who has submitted to remote diagnosis and been advised, sensibly, to lie down. cyberpaymented adj. Describing a drinker who attempts electronic settlement before discovering the card is in the other trousers. Jailynn became cyberpaymented and held the contactless card against the fruit machine. cyberperformanced adj. A drinker who turns the online audience into a theatre and the kitchen into its principal venue. Louis-olivier went cyberperformanced, broadcasting a solemn speech from beside the washing machine. cyberperformered adj. A drinker so far gone that the performance continues after the audience has gone to bed. Marguerit grew cyberperformered, delivering an encore to two unread messages. cyberpersonned adj. The state of being drunk and active online while physically lost somewhere between the sofa and the hall. Maliaka became cyberpersonned, posting from the house despite being unable to find the bathroom. cyberpessimismed adj. The condition of a drinker who foresees technological collapse, beginning with a forgotten password. cyberpessimisted adj. The drunkenness of one who expects technology to worsen society, starting with the pub's QR code. Ellagrace became cyberpessimisted and denounced the digital menu as a threat to civilisation. cyberpeted adj. Reduced by drink to feeding an imaginary electronic creature and worrying whether it is lonely. Navreen got cyberpeted and offered the phone a crisp for good behaviour. cyberphilosophered adj. Softened by drink into asking whether the Internet exists, then requesting chips as evidence. Mehakpreet became cyberphilosophered and debated reality with the takeaway menu. cyberphilosophied adj. Drunk by closing time, and explaining to everyone what the internet has done to reality.