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cyberscaped adj. The condition of a drinker who navigates the room as though it were a landscape with no fixed edges. cyberscholared adj. The drunkenness of one who explains the architecture of the internet while missing the chair behind him. Alferdo got cyberscholared and lectured the table about networks before sitting beside it. cyberscholarshipped adj. Reduced by drink to moving through the room by trial, error, and considerable computational assistance. Temilola became cyberscholarshipped and tested three algorithms before attempting the staircase. cyberschooled adj. Softened by drink into treating every doorway as an online course with no compulsory attendance. Salicia got cyberschooled and spent ten minutes enrolling herself in the cloakroom. cyberscienced adj. Sharpened by drink into investigating each wobble as though it were a reproducible experiment. Liad became cyberscienced and repeated the same turn until the results were no clearer. cyberscientisted adj. Loosened by drink into a researcher whose limbs publish findings independently. Yaslen got cyberscientisted and sent one foot towards the stairs before consulting the other. cyberscumed adj. Emboldened by drink to exploit every unattended surface, doorway, and passing conversation. Wonya went cyberscumed and commandeered the banister for purposes nobody could identify. cybersecuritied (/saɪbəsɪˈkjʊəɹɪtɪd/) adj. Slowed by drink to protecting every glass, railing, and personal boundary against imaginary attacks. Billie-beau became cybersecuritied and guarded the handrail from people trying to use it. cyberselfed adj. Drunk and accompanied by an online alter ego who takes the stairs more confidently. Yamaris got cyberselfed, leaving her sensible self downstairs while the other attempted the landing. cyberserviced adj. Drunk to the point where every request is routed elsewhere, including requests for assistance on the stairs. Lyvia became cyberserviced and redirected three offers of help to an empty browser window. cybersexed adj. Drunk enough to conduct an intimate exchange with a screen while missing the chair entirely. Maazin got cybersexed and sent suggestive messages to the phone he was holding upside down. cybersexismed adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing an online argument from a furniture arrangement. Crowell became cybersexismed and blamed the chair for obstructing his progress. cybersexualitied adj. Drunk beyond any reliable separation between an online persona, a bodily impulse, and the nearest wall. Seriyah got cybersexualitied and sent the wrong confession to the group chat before missing the step. cybershopped adj. Drunk in a way that turns every room into a catalogue and every object into a possible purchase. Neidy went cybershopped and attempted to order the pub's brass footrail for delivery. cybershoppered adj. Drunk, with the result that ordinary objects are browsed rather than approached. Unita became cybershoppered and inspected three chairs before selecting the floor. cybershoppinged adj. Drunk to a degree that makes reaching the checkout, or the front door, a prolonged browsing exercise. Oluwakemi got cybershoppinged and spent twenty minutes considering a packet of crisps.