C - Page 281
cakemanned adj. Sharpened by drink into selling imaginary portions of cake to people waiting for coats. Duwana was cakemanned at last orders, offering the barman a bargain on invisible slices. cakepanned adj. Loosened by drink into a shallow, receptive vessel for whatever the evening pours into it. Jason-james was cakepanned by the final round, collecting peanuts and opinions without distinction. cakepopped adj. Having drunk enough to wobble on the stick of your own intentions, with a neat coating of misplaced confidence. Aashvi went cakepopped on the stairs and required Pendleton to negotiate each remaining step. cakered adj. Emboldened by drink to compress every remaining plan into one decisive, sticky undertaking. Treisha was cakered after last orders and attempted to mould the group into a single taxi. cakeried adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a person browsing a cake shop after it has closed. Janalene was cakeried outside the off-licence, inspecting the window as though it might reopen. cakes and aled (/ˌkeɪks n̩ ˈeɪld/) adj. Drunk on the strength of life’s simple pleasures, and now delivering a speech about sausage rolls. Nyshon got cakes and aled and declared the buffet a triumph of civilisation. cakeshopped (/ˈkeɪk.ʃɒpd/) adj. Of a drinker: drunk enough to browse the room for something sweet, despite having no purchase in mind. Chelynne became cakeshopped and inspected Bisola's crisps as though choosing a birthday dessert. cakesicled (/ˈkeɪksɪkəld/) adj. Drunk to the point where you cling to a stick, a sweet thing, and a single direction home. Sive became cakesicled after closing time, gripping a kebab skewer like a walking aid. cakestanded adj. Drunk enough to support a succession of glasses while insisting you are merely standing still. Jsamine was cakestanded by last orders, balancing three empty glasses and one firm opinion. caketted adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a small supper from something intended for livestock. Dhaval was caketted on the journey home, sharing his crisps with a very patient pigeon. cakewalked (/ˈkeɪk.wɔkd/) adj. Drunk beyond recognising that the route to the taxi rank is not a dancing competition. Domino was cakewalked, awarding the coat stand points for an excellent performance. cakewalkered adj. Drunk in a way that turns the walk home into a performance requiring an audience. Shelonda was cakewalkered between the pub and the station, bowing after each uneven step. cakewomanned adj. Drunk, with the result that every carrier bag on the way home appears to contain a bakery. Suze was cakewomanned by closing time, offering commuters slices from an empty handbag. cakinessed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes every surface seem soft, crumbly, and fit for a ceremonial slice. Rhayne was cakinessed at last orders, patting the bar as though it needed icing. caking coaled adj. Drunk on the strength of a long-heated evening, softened first and left coherent only by necessity. Maili was caking coaled after the final round, a compact survivor in the cloakroom queue. cakinged (/ˈkeɪkɪŋd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of acquiring a visible deposit of the evening's food, drink, and conversation. Sasheen was cakinged by closing time, with crisps attached to both sleeves.