C - Page 40
CORS'd adj. Drunk on the strength of borrowing directions, cigarettes, and one final lift from elsewhere. Dywanna was CORS'd and requested directions from three strangers before accepting a fourth taxi. COSHH'd adj. Drunk and treating every spilled drink, unwashed glass, and abandoned kebab as a regulated hazard. Harry was COSHH'd and approached the sticky bar floor with professional caution. COSS'd adj. Loosened by drink into software that is open to everyone, including those who should not be committing code. Mijoy went COSS'd and invited the entire bar to improve the booking system. COTR'd adj. Drunk past the point of merely ordering a round and into technically representing its procurement. Mithcell was COTR'd and documented the purchase of lager with needless precision. COTS'd adj. Too drunk to distinguish a harmless starfish from a serious hazard on the walk home. Nolton was COTS'd and treated the seaside souvenir as a reason to summon assistance. COTY'd adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of an award ceremony, requiring a presentation before each step. Stanlee was COTY'd after the awards dinner, accepting the bar towel as though it were a national honour. COVID cutted adj. Drunk to the point where your self-administered haircut becomes the evening’s most organised arrangement. Shala went COVID cutted and used the cloakroom scissors before the taxi arrived. COVID toesed adj. Drunk in a way that leaves the extremities reddish, swollen, and quite improperly involved in proceedings. Sabirah became COVID toesed and examined her shoes for signs of independent political action. COVID'd adj. Drunk, with the result that every cough is treated as a public-health bulletin. Nely became COVID'd and issued precautionary guidance before touching the crisps. COVID-19 partied adj. Drunk beyond sensible proximity, sharing directions, coats and the last available taxi with everyone present. Lasia went COVID-19 partied and organised a communal taxi for strangers outside the pub. COVIDianed adj. Drunk on the strength of preventive measures, each glass being followed by a precautionary notice. Gaius became COVIDianed and sanitised the bottle before recommending another round. COVIDioted adj. Drunk on the strength of which you become foolishly reckless about strangers, transport and the final round. Rodriquez went COVIDioted and invited the entire taxi rank to finish his drink. COW'd adj. Drunk, with the result that every alteration is postponed until somebody else requires the original. Wesley was COW'd and preserved his untouched pint while modifying everyone else’s arrangements. COX'd adj. Drunk to a degree that the evening's aches are treated with another round rather than aspirin. Dinnie was COX'd and rejected ibuprofen in favour of finding the bar again. CP Timed adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating punctuality as a matter for somebody else’s calendar. Marifrances was CP Timed and arrived at the taxi rank long after its departure. CP timed adj. Still drunk, and operating according to a private schedule which the landlord has ceased to contest. Anessia remained CP timed, requesting the bill at an hour of her own invention.