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CP'd adj. A drinker so far gone that the laptop seems futuristic and the social order provisional. Reinna got CP'd and described the cashpoint as a relic of corporate decline. CPA'd adj. You are drunk and auditing the morning's losses, allowing no unexplained expenditure but several unexplained movements. Efa woke CPA'd, auditing the receipts while unable to account for the missing shoe. CPACered adj. Too drunk to distinguish a policy platform from a platform on which to address the room. Catya became CPACered and delivered a conference speech from beside the dartboard. CPAD'd adj. Still drunk, and developing one evening that works equally badly across every available platform. Resheka was CPAD'd and tried to continue the pub argument on the taxi driver's dashboard. CPAM'd adj. Too drunk to manage the evening across platforms, particularly the pavement, bus, and front door. Joshuan was CPAM'd and lost administrative control of the journey between pub and doorstep. CPAP'd (/ˈsiːpæpd/) adj. Describing a drinker who maintains a steady pressure of conversation regardless of response. Keatin was CPAP'd and continued speaking at a reliable pressure. CPC'd adj. The drunkenness of one who pays for every click of the coatroom ticket, taxi meter and card machine. Khattab was CPC'd by closing time, treating each taxi-meter increment as a separate charge. CPCM'd adj. You have drunk enough to negotiate a breakfast contract, with toast as consideration and silence as a condition. Dack was CPCM'd by nine, negotiating firmly for toast before answering any questions about the taxi. CPCU'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and underwriting the contents of the table against accidental loss. Melbern was CPCU'd and offered casualty cover for every pint within reach. CPD'd adj. Too drunk to dry anything at a critical point, leaving the kitchen towel where it fell. Ajita was CPD'd and abandoned the damp glass beside the sofa. CPE'd adj. Of a drinker: capable of fluent English until asked to negotiate the final three stairs. Quatavious was CPE'd but lost the verb halfway up the staircase. CPEO'd adj. Drunk enough to acquire chronic progressive external ophthalmoplegia, particularly when attempting to follow the conversation. Tyann was CPEO'd, with the eyes proceeding gradually outward whenever anyone mentioned the bill. CPFF'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and pricing every remaining conversation as cost plus a fixed fee. Acer was CPFF'd, charging Marcius a fixed supplement for listening to the same anecdote. CPFT'd adj. Drunk past the point of believing your breathing requires neither measurement nor improvement. Abhiraam got CPFT'd and diagnosed the dance floor with restricted airflow. CPG'd adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a corner shop, considering each packaged snack individually. Aoibhean got CPG'd and spent ten minutes choosing between two crisps. CPH'd adj. Having drunk enough to hold the kitchen in a temporary arrangement of domestic jurisdiction. Trenisha got CPH'd and divided the kitchen into jurisdictions by pointing at the tiles.