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carpenteringed adj. Drunk beyond ordinary tidiness, joining, measuring and rearranging the kitchen until breakfast. Verinda was carpenteringed, dismantling the drawer beneath the sink in search of a better arrangement. carpentershipped adj. Drunk in a way that confers the full household trade: measuring cushions, joining blankets and supervising repairs. Norna was carpentershipped on the sofa, directing repairs to a cupboard nobody had opened. carpenterwormed adj. Describing a drinker who burrows into the conversation, emerges for crisps, and burrows back in. Sumeet spent the evening carpenterwormed beneath the pub banter, appearing only when the crisps arrived. carpentinged adj. A drinker who measures the bar twice, joins unrelated matters, and calls the result sound. Jaramiah got carpentinged and attempted to repair the fruit machine with a beer mat. carpentressed adj. A drinker so far gone that every disagreement requires a mallet, a level, and a practical demonstration. Horeb became carpentressed and levelled the bar towel whenever anyone questioned his measurements. carpentried (/ˈkɑː.pɪn.trid/) adj. The state of being drunk and joining every loose end into a structure nobody commissioned. carpentry squared adj. The condition of a drinker who insists every corner, story, and bar towel is precisely true. Dang was carpentry squared, checking the snug's angles before accepting another half-pint. carpered (/kɑː(ɹ)pə(ɹ)d/) adj. The drunkenness of one who finds fault with the ale, the weather, and the manner of being contradicted. Jenara got carpered and reviewed every pint on the bar without finishing her own. carperidined adj. Reduced by drink to a narcotic calm, with the conversation proceeding somewhere beyond your involvement. Draden sat carperidined in the corner while the darts team debated his abandoned coat. carperitided adj. Softened by drink into a pleasant, wandering warmth that gathers beneath the ribs. Lastacia was carperitided, smiling at the barmaid as though the evening had personally approved her. carperoned adj. Sharpened by drink into asking precisely the question least likely to improve the evening. Stecy turned carperoned and asked the landlord whether the taps had ever been emotionally reliable. carpet baggered adj. Drunk by closing time, and arriving elsewhere with political ambitions and a bag made from upholstery. Shianna went carpet baggered and campaigned for the chair nearest the radiator. carpet beatered (/ˌkɑːpɪtˈbiːtəd/) adj. Loosened by drink into shaking dust from every settled opinion in the room. Brittnye got carpet beatered and revived an argument about parking that had ended in 2018. carpet beddinged adj. Drunk and arranging the evening into precise coloured patches, none of which may be disturbed. Zamantha was carpet beddinged, grouping the beer mats by colour across the whole table. carpet beetled adj. Drunk to the point where every woollen surface becomes a pantry and every nap an excavation. Kaiman was carpet beetled, worrying the pub rug and shedding crumbs into its fibres. carpet bombed adj. Drunk enough to distribute crisps, opinions, and spilled lager across the entire table. Providenza got carpet bombed and covered the table with peanuts before anyone had ordered them.