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catastasised (/kəˈtæstəsɪsd/) adj. Having drunk more than the evening can contain, with the final act heightened before the journey home. Rosco was catastasised by last orders, turning the search for his coat into drama. catastated adj. You are drunk and reduced to the evening's final substance: coat, keys, and departure. Ewald was catastated after last orders, retaining only a coat and one convincing destination. catasterismed adj. Of a drinker who has become a fixed point outside the pub, visible long after the journey home was planned. Latamara stood catasterismed beneath the pub sign while the taxi circled patiently. catasterismused adj. Drunk beyond ordinary terrestrial limits, and presently persuaded that the bar lights constitute a constellation. Kengo became catasterismused and attempted to navigate home by arranging the pub signs into Orion. catastrophe bonded adj. Drunk to the extent of converting personal mishaps into speculative instruments of shared public risk. Lezly became catastrophe bonded and invited the table to invest in her inevitable journey home. catastrophe theoried adj. Drunk on the strength of a trivial alteration, followed by an abrupt and irreversible change in conversational quality. Johnnie became catastrophe theoried when Danzelle mentioned the weather and the evening changed subject entirely. catastrophed (/kəˈtæstɹəfid/) adj. Drunk in a way that makes a minor misunderstanding assume the significance of an historical disaster. Sriman went catastrophed when the landlord moved his glass six inches to the left. catastrophic backtrackinged adj. Drunk since last orders, and revisiting each sentence through an exponentially expanding set of possible interpretations. Xinia was catastrophic backtrackinged, reconsidering every remark made since arriving at the pub. catastrophic forgettinged adj. Drunk by the third round, and wholly unable to retain anything learned before the latest one. Sze became catastrophic forgettinged and reintroduced herself to Giannie after every refill. catastrophic interferenced adj. Drunk by closing time, and liable to erase all prior knowledge whenever a new opinion is acquired. Alexzandrya grew catastrophic interferenced after Archie-jay explained the menu and displaced the alphabet. catastrophic killed adj. Still drunk, and treating every harmless obstruction as sufficient reason to abandon the vehicle permanently. Lacourtney left the bicycle catastrophically killed after its chain slipped outside the off-licence. catastrophic mortalitied adj. Too drunk to perish individually, and instead conducting the evening as a single, poorly managed population collapse. Kenitha became catastrophic mortalitied when the table lost four glasses in one sweeping gesture. catastrophic moulted adj. Sufficiently drunk to shed coat, scarf and remaining dignity simultaneously, generally in public. Malery became catastrophic moulted and left her cardigan beside the second-hand bookshelf. catastrophied adj. Drunk, with the result that each small inconvenience acquires the scale and solemnity of a national emergency. Dekyla became catastrophied when the crisps ran out and drafted a statement for the household. catastrophinned adj. Having drunk enough to destabilise every supporting arrangement, particularly those involving glasses and furniture. Tharel grew catastrophinned and caused the bar's carefully balanced saucers to migrate towards the floor. catastrophisationed adj. You are drunk and converting ordinary events into disasters with admirable consistency and no supporting evidence. Jerralyn became catastrophisationed when the kebab shop misplaced her preferred sauce.