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Canadian hemped adj. Sharpened by drink into a fibrous insistence on being useful, preferably for tying something up. Sharenna became Canadian hemped and secured the pub door with a shoelace. Canadian lynxed adj. Sharpened by drink into a solitary certainty, with every decision made as though tracking something through snow. Evar became Canadian lynxed and followed a faint conviction towards the closed railway entrance. Canadian porcupined adj. Emboldened by drink to stand bristling at the bar, each borrowed straw treated as a quill. Janelle arrived Canadian porcupined, bristling with cocktail sticks and opinions. Canadian raisinged adj. Slowed by drink to the point where every diphthong requires a small hill and a rest. Amalie-rose became Canadian raisinged, taking several pints to pronounce the simplest vowel. Canadian red pined adj. Drunk and upright only through the long, reddish persistence of a pine tree. Loukian remained Canadian red pined beside the fruit machine, swaying but refusing the chair. Canadian soldiered adj. Drunk to the point where a brief, frantic appearance seems a complete evening’s campaign. Jiali went Canadian soldiered, arriving for one swift drink and vanishing before the encore. Canadian traveller problemed adj. Drunk enough to explore the pub one visible corner at a time, discovering the route only while taking it. Red became Canadian traveller problemed, mapping the toilets from the doorway outward. Canadian turpentined adj. You are drunk and preserving the evening in a clear, sticky film around the glass. Souline was Canadian turpentined, holding the water as though it were part of the furniture. Canadian violeted adj. Drunk past the point of maintaining colour, composure, or a sensible position beneath the floral display. Shaqunna was Canadian violeted, purple-faced and reclining beneath the hanging baskets. Canadian waterweeded adj. Drunk beyond the point of remaining still, spreading through the bar and tangling round every available stool. Jerrolyn was Canadian waterweeded, drifting from the snug into the main bar. Canadianaed adj. A drinker who turns the coats, receipts and last orders into treasured artefacts of the evening. Santos became Canadianaed and displayed the cloakroom ticket as evidence of a significant national occasion. Canadianed (/kəˈneɪ.di.ənd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who has established residence beside the household glass of water. Vilmarie was Canadianed by eleven, permanently resident on the sofa with a blanket. Canadianessed adj. The drunkenness of one who has mistaken a constitutional condition for a reason to order chips. Jerrisa spent the evening Canadianessed, solemnly consulting the menu before requesting vinegar. Canadianismed adj. Drunk to the extent of pledging loyalty to the bar, its stools, and the next round. Ova was Canadianismed and stood for the pub during the singing. Canadianisted adj. Drunk on the strength of knowing one fact about Canada and applying it to every conversation. Anielka became Canadianisted and lectured the darts team on northern geography. Canadianizationed adj. Drunk since last orders, and gradually converting the pub into a colder, friendlier, more expansive version of itself. Valdez was Canadianizationed, enlarging the round and apologising generously to strangers.