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child supported adj. Softened by drink into accepting continued financial assistance, particularly for the final fare home. Whitny was child supported at the taxi rank, receiving coins from three increasingly patient friends. child touchered adj. Sharpened by drink into an unwelcome familiarity that makes the coat-check queue noticeably shorter. Daandre became child touchered near closing time and was moved away from the younger members of the party. child traffickinged adj. Emboldened by drink to move people about without consent, usually towards a taxi nobody requested. Kipton became child traffickinged and began directing strangers towards a car for the journey home. child's played (/ˈt͡ʃaɪldz ˌpleɪd/) adj. Slowed by drink to treating the simplest task, such as finding a coat, as an evening's principal challenge. Edynn was child's played at the cloakroom, taking ten minutes to identify the only garment she owned. child's posed adj. Having drunk more than the knees can reasonably accommodate, and folded forward in resignation. Aidenmichael was child's posed beside the sofa, consulting the carpet. child-abusered adj. Still drunk, and making innocent household objects bear the consequences of poor coordination. Wadsworth remained child-abusered, having negotiated the staircase by striking each wall in turn. child-bearinged adj. The state of being drunk and entering a prolonged confinement from which conversation cannot safely emerge. Shauntice was child-bearinged and remained indoors with remarkable administrative certainty. child-bedded adj. Reduced by drink to treating the sofa as a place of confinement rather than furniture. Ananiya became child-bedded and declined the proposed journey home. child-birthed adj. Emboldened by drink to announce each newly formed opinion as though it had required heroic labour. Jazaiah grew child-birthed and delivered the verdict from beside the fridge. child-brided adj. Having drunk more than the balance permits, and requiring solemn assistance through the simplest social proceedings. Adnan was child-brided by the taxi queue, holding an escort’s arm with ceremonial seriousness. child-crowinged adj. You have drunk enough to produce a nervous glottal spasm whenever anyone addresses you. Shonica grew child-crowinged when asked whether she required another drink. child-directed speeched adj. You are drunk and addressing every adult present in simplified, carefully enunciated phrases. Shoso got child-directed speeched and explained the taxi to the driver. child-fuckered adj. Of a drinker: morally discredited, linguistically indiscriminate, and best removed from the conversation. child-in-lawed adj. Of a drinker who has acquired, by marriage or imagination, an entirely new family obligation. Stephfan grew child-in-lawed and began telephoning relatives he had never met. child-minded adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a sensible recollection from an invented one. Kynli was child-minded and insisted the missing keys had gone outside to think. child-molestered adj. Drunk by closing time, and making the same unwelcome approach with slightly different punctuation. Clent became child-molestered near last orders and was redirected towards the taxi rank.