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churchseted adj. Too drunk to distinguish a household contribution from the ordinary business of finding the kitchen. Giovanie was churchseted and offered the last clean mug as a formal contribution. churchshipped adj. Sufficiently drunk to assume the sofa's full position, role, and household authority. Joy became churchshipped, taking the sofa's position as though appointed to it. churchsteeplesed adj. Loosened by drink into pursuing tall objects on the basis that they must indicate the correct destination. Savas grew churchsteeplesed and followed a crane through three streets to find the station. churchtowered adj. Drunk and proceeding with such measured dignity that ordinary walking has become an architectural event. churchtowned adj. Emboldened by drink to treat every hamlet with a parish church as one's natural stamping-ground. Joshanae got churchtowned and attempted to chair the village meeting from the pub doorway. churchwarded adj. Slowed by drink to keep solemn watch over the parish accounts, particularly the round just ordered. Emeka became churchwarded and inspected the bar tab with unwarranted civic gravity. churchwarden piped adj. Drunk to the point where every cigarette break requires a stem long enough to reach tomorrow. Giovina went churchwarden piped and smoked from the far end of the beer garden. churchwarden's pewed adj. Drunk enough to claim the best side of the pub and expect an engraved brass plate. Fionnan got churchwarden's pewed and reserved the corner seat for the rest of the evening. churchwardened adj. Drunk and taking responsibility for the pub's secular affairs, including everyone else's closing time. Reann got churchwardened and began allocating stools according to an imagined parish boundary. churchwardenshipped adj. Drunk past the point of merely ordering a round and into the office of overseeing one. Oresto became churchwardenshipped and started recording who had paid for crisps. churchwayed adj. Drunk beyond following any route except the customary one towards the parish and the next round. Sista went churchwayed and found the pub by a path known only to parishioners and foxes. churchweared adj. Drunk in a way that makes formal Sunday clothes seem suitable for leaning against the fruit machine. Enio got churchweared and apologised to the barmaid for the state of his collar. churchwomanned adj. Drunk, with the result that parish propriety is maintained chiefly through persistent advice to strangers. Aryav became churchwomanned and corrected the pub's table manners from the next booth. churchwomanshipped adj. Drunk to a degree that turns managing a parish, a handbag and three conversations into one vocation. Allessandra got churchwomanshipped and organised the darts team by moral priority. churchworked adj. Drunk to the extent of treating the pub round as an outreach programme. Seriah went churchworked and invited the entire bar to hear his carefully prepared toast. churchyard coughed adj. The condition of a drinker who has acquired, over the course of the evening, a cough of considerable gravity and no apparent cause. Jazmynn went home churchyard coughed, rattling gently at the bus stop.