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dwarfessed adj. Drunk past the point of trusting your legs, but not yet past the point of giving them instructions. Kamarin was dwarfessed on the stairs, issuing careful commands to each foot in turn. dwarfetted adj. Drunk in a way that makes ordinary gestures look carefully rehearsed and slightly too small. Purcell went dwarfetted and poured the wine in a precise trickle, missing the glass by inches. dwarfholdered adj. Drunk and cultivating a very small margin of safety between upright and horizontal. Eliada was dwarfholdered on the landing, keeping both hands on the wall and neither foot reliable. dwarfinged adj. Drunk, with the result that distances seem diminished until the next step arrives considerably sooner than expected. Bremen was dwarfinged and misjudged the final stair as a harmless patch of floor. dwarfishnessed adj. Drunk to a degree that reduces grand movements to cautious, compact adjustments. Nadeja was dwarfishnessed, making small corrections all the way down the staircase. dwarfismed (/ˈdwɔːfɪzəmd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of requiring the handrail for a descent which previously needed no equipment. Tatanishia went dwarfismed on the stairs, treating the handrail as essential morning equipment. dwarfkinded adj. Drunk on the strength of a collective belief that the stairs are negotiable by committee. Slevin was dwarfkinded, summoning advice from everyone before attempting the first step. dwarflinged adj. Drunk since last orders, and reduced to a small, stumbling version of your former self. dwarfmaided adj. Drunk by the third round, and managing the stairs with the anxious grace of an attendant at a miniature ball. Elsie became dwarfmaided and escorted herself down the staircase with both hands occupied by the rail. dwarfnessed adj. Drunk by closing time, and reduced to the smallest possible movements compatible with remaining upright. Lileana was dwarfnessed on the bottom stair, where each careful adjustment achieved almost nothing. dwarfsploitationed adj. Still drunk, and turning every failed attempt at balance into public entertainment for the household. dwarrowdamed adj. Sufficiently drunk to require a ceremonial escort across three perfectly ordinary steps. Micol was dwarrowdamed and accepted Kennika's arm for the short journey to the sofa. dwarrowed adj. Too drunk to distinguish the staircase from an enchanted passage requiring specialist navigation. Mervil became dwarrowed and searched the banister for instructions before attempting the stairs. dwarvessed adj. Drunk beyond reliable coordination, with every landing reached by negotiation rather than walking. Jaylei came dwarvessed to the second floor, having negotiated each stair separately. dwaumed adj. A drinker who swoons with Scottish efficiency, leaving companions to pause the evening around them. Ayal went dwaumed beside the fireplace, and the table waited quietly for recovery. dweebed (/dwiːbd/) adj. Having drunk enough to explain the mechanics of falling while continuing to demonstrate them. Ceretha got dweebed and delivered a lecture on balance immediately before missing the last stair.