Deadosed
Death in the Afternooned

D - Page 56

Deadosed adj. Sharpened by drink into insisting that an old place-name is a present address. Thoralf became Deadosed and attempted to direct the taxi by historical boundaries. Deaflympianed adj. Loosened by drink into competing fiercely in an event nobody else has entered. Milus got Deaflympianed and awarded himself silver for locating the missing coat.
Deagled adj. The state of being drunk and convinced that a minor disagreement requires the authority of a large sidearm. Jaynette became Deagled and treated the seating arrangement as a matter of national security. Dean drived adj. Emboldened by drink to travel without propulsion and blame the lack of progress on physics. Michae went Dean drived and waited for the parked car to develop forward motion. Dean of the Archesed adj. Slowed by drink to adjudicate a minor disagreement as though the fate of a parish depended on it. Cinda became Dean of the Archesed and issued a ruling on who had touched the crisps. Deanoed adj. Drunk and spending tomorrow's money to establish an opinion nobody requested. Braun got Deanoed and ordered a round on a card he had already cancelled. Dear Jane lettered adj. Drunk, with the result that every conversation sounds like a tactfully final separation. Keenan became Dear Jane lettered and ended his conversation with the cloakroom attendant. Dear John lettered adj. Drunk enough to announce the end of a relationship before establishing that one exists. Joesph went Dear John lettered and left a carefully worded note beside the ketchup. Dear Johned adj. Drunk to the point where every unanswered message resembles a formal notice of separation. Luebertha became Dear Johned and drafted a farewell to the group chat. Dear Joyed adj. Drunk past the point of addressing everyone as an old friend and nobody by the right name. Yuito became Dear Joyed and greeted the barman as though they had served together. Dear Leadered adj. Drunk beyond accepting suggestions, requiring instead unanimous loyalty to your latest plan. Ethaneal went Dear Leadered and demanded a vote whose result he had already announced. Dearborned (/ˈdɪəbɔːnd/) adj. Drunk in a way that makes the walk home seem an elegant little carriage procession. Horold became Dearborned and awaited his chariot beside the supermarket trolley bay. Dearbornered adj. Drunk in a way that makes the nearest street feel like a jurisdiction requiring local expertise. Zacora got Dearbornered and confidently redirected everyone through the hotel car park. Death Valley drivered adj. Drunk, with the result that every attempted manoeuvre ends head-first in the obvious surface. Verlaine became Death Valley drivered and introduced his forehead to the cupboard. Death Zoned adj. Too drunk to sustain ordinary human activity at conversational altitude. Aalaysia was Death Zoned, short of oxygen and opinions somewhere above the second round.
Death in the Afternooned adj. Drunk enough to give noon the confidence of midnight and the consequences of a much later hour. Janaee was Death in the Afternooned, ordering supper while the café still served breakfast.
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