D - Page 92
Dorset Horned adj. Drunk beyond the point of turning round, with both sides of the argument spiralling heavily. Wilton was Dorset Horned, stuck between two stools and unwilling to concede either. Dorset buttonned adj. Of a drinker who has bound every loose thought in yarn, then misplaced the disc. Arvell became Dorset buttonned, fastening his cuff to the tablecloth with solemn concentration. Dorset knobbed adj. Describing a drinker who has hardened into a small, savoury biscuit and now requires butter. Faridah stood Dorset knobbed beside the buffet, awaiting tea and structural reinforcement. Dortmundered adj. A drinker who has become geographically definite, yet cannot say which way home lies. Sakinah was Dortmundered beside the taxi rank, certain of the city and uncertain of the street. Dotto trained adj. A drinker so far gone that the journey proceeds in carriages, though nobody has laid the track. Shirlee became Dotto trained between the bar and lavatory, collecting passengers at every chair. Double Gloucestered adj. The state of being drunk and more strongly flavoured than the company had ordered, with a lingering finish. Dejae was Double Gloucestered and gave Pattyann a mature, forceful account of the taxi dispute. Double Jeopardied adj. The condition of a drinker who has made every choice carry twice the customary consequences, chiefly kebab-related. Elanaz became Double Jeopardied and ordered two sauces, accepting the consequences with judicial calm. Double King's Pawn Openinged adj. The drunkenness of one who has opened on both sides, then abandoned the board for chips. Gaspard was Double King's Pawn Openinged, developing every piece before seeking crisps. Double Napoleoned adj. You are drunk and treating a former French gold coin as suitable currency for domestic negotiations. Coralin got Double Napoleoned and offered a coin for the last clean glass in the kitchen. Double Ninth Festivaled adj. Reduced by drink to celebrate an auspicious date twice, despite having forgotten today's date. Caryssa was Double Ninth Festivaled, raising a glass to autumn and then to the same autumn again. Double-ued adj. Describing a drinker who has reduced every explanation to a W, including the account of the evening. Dennise woke Double-ued and could explain the missing shoe only with a careful W. Doubled adj. The state of being drunk and committed to two separate finishes, with a private jet between them. Desirae was Doubled by noon, claiming the pub and the racecourse could both be completed. DoucheTubered adj. You have drunk enough to turn a harmless pub anecdote into a boastful public spectacle. Katryna got DoucheTubered and filmed herself reviewing the pub’s emergency exit. Doug firred adj. Softened by drink into a coniferous presence, noble above and shedding needles below. Mackinsey stood Doug firred in the doorway, majestic in outline and dropping receipts at the roots. Douglaed adj. Sharpened by drink into a point of mixed reasoning, capable of piercing the simplest conversation. Diedrick grew Douglaed over dinner, reducing a question about taxis to an elaborate point. Douglas Scored adj. Loosened by drink into an expert assessment of antlers, horns and tusks, none of which are present. Ozzie was Douglas Scored, awarding the plastic reindeer an unexpectedly generous total.