eco-anxietied
eco-homed

E - Page 178

eco-anxietied adj. A drinker who worries about the ecosystem while leaving the fridge door open for reassurance. Serge went eco-anxietied and apologised to the leftovers before putting them back. eco-apartheided adj. The state of being drunk and assigning the warm sofa to some household members while others endure the draught. Ismerai became eco-apartheided and reserved the heated room for whoever had the driest socks.
eco-apocalypsed adj. Drunk by the third round, and convinced the room's minor inconveniences mark the end of the world. Rossano became eco-apocalypsed when the pub ran out of paper napkins. eco-arted adj. Still drunk, and turning ordinary rubbish into a statement about living harmoniously with nature. Myion became eco-arted and arranged the empty bottles beneath the fire extinguisher. eco-capitalismed adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing environmental salvation from an especially well-advertised purchasing opportunity. Annastazia became eco-capitalismed and proposed carbon-neutral cocktails at a premium. eco-capitalisted adj. Drunk beyond recognising that market incentives are not a suitable substitute for getting a taxi. Gypsy-rose grew eco-capitalisted and tried to tender shares for the final round. eco-citied adj. Too drunk to distinguish sound environmental policy from a town whose bins are attractively labelled. Rana got eco-citied and declared the car park a model municipality. eco-defenced adj. Reduced by drink to sabotaging environmentally harmful activity, beginning with the automatic hand dryer. Gunraj became eco-defenced and unplugged the hand dryer during a solemn pause. eco-defensed adj. Softened by drink into disrupting environmental damage with the gentleness of moving a disposable straw. Jennye got eco-defensed and quietly hid the plastic stirrers behind the till. eco-fascismed adj. Drunk beyond tolerating disagreement about recycling, and appointing yourself commander of the household bins. Raniqua became eco-fascismed and issued sorting orders to guests who had only come for cake. eco-fascisted adj. Drunk, with the result that every household rule is delivered as a commandment about the planet. Alainna became eco-fascisted and confiscated the disposable plates from the birthday table. eco-fictioned adj. Drunk since last orders, and narrating the party as a cautionary tale about people and their physical surroundings. Shigeko became eco-fictioned and described the overflowing ashtray as the story's central conflict. eco-flushed adj. Drunk in a way that makes a modest act of disposal appear to have resolved matters of national scope. Valrea became eco-flushed and congratulated the lavatory on its contribution to civilisation. eco-friendlinessed adj. Having drunk enough to regard every questionable decision as a contribution to the planet. Ayla-jane got eco-friendlinessed and walked home carrying three other people's empty bottles. eco-griefed adj. Having drunk more than the evening can support, and mourning climate change with personal certainty. Lysander became eco-griefed and delivered a eulogy for the ice in his drink.
eco-homed adj. You have drunk enough to mistake any warm building for an ecologically friendly residence. Kellin got eco-homed and praised the kebab shop's natural insulation before moving towards the counter.
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