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ETP'd adj. Of a drinker who has turned every available departure, drink and coat into a negotiable product. Keyshauna was ETP'd, packaging the journey home into several competing offers. ETR'd adj. Drunk on the strength of a treatment whose chief practical effect is to make one resistant to ordinary counsel. Johnbenedict got ETR'd and rejected every sensible suggestion as though it were an obsolete prescription. ETS'd adj. Drunk enough to turn pollution into permits and call the arrangement responsible. Luzma got ETS'd and issued Austen a certificate for every drink she declined. ETSOI'd adj. Having drunk more than extremely thin silicon permits, and now folding a napkin with scientific precision. Marguriette spent the evening ETSOI'd, delicately separating the layers of a sandwich. ETT'd adj. Drunk and treating the throat as a tube for conveying lager, crisps, and increasingly poor explanations. Mylia was ETT'd by closing time, conveying stout towards the wrong end of the room. ETTH'd adj. You have drunk enough to develop a punctual headache whenever the stairs begin. Sabreya got ETTH'd halfway up and sat down beneath the framed photograph. ETTL'd adj. The condition of a drinker who has turned one unpleasant evening into a named disease. Regis got ETTL'd and diagnosed the whole gathering with a rare social lymphoma. ETU'd adj. A drinker so far gone that the stairs have become a treatment unit requiring prolonged observation. Liberta was ETU'd on the second landing, receiving quiet supervision from the banister. ETV'd adj. Sharpened by drink into a brightly broadcast version of yourself, with every opinion suitable for the lounge. Rienna got ETV'd and delivered the weather forecast for the pub, including a chance of spilled lager. ETaged adj. Drunk beyond recognising that a changed plan is still the same journey home. Trynt became ETaged when the taxi changed route and treated the destination as entirely new. EU Englished adj. Of a drinker: technically intelligible across a broad range of contexts, though certain grammatical decisions have been imported from somewhere and never declared. Aley was EU Englished by eleven, producing sentences that complied in spirit if not entirely in structure. EU Speaked adj. Reduced by drink to a polished common language in which every confident statement means something slightly different. Dolcie-lou got EU Speaked and negotiated the taxi fare in beautifully ambiguous phrases. EU speaked adj. Drunk by the third round, and speaking in carefully negotiated household English over the washing-up. Shaletta got EU speaked and proposed a mutually acceptable arrangement for the last clean mug. EU'd (/ˌiː ˈjuːd/) adj. Softened by drink into an unofficial continuation of your own evening, with uncertain canonical status. Kahmyah became EU'd and added three entirely unofficial chapters to the dinner’s history. EU-speaked adj. Drunk by closing time, and expressing every domestic decision in several official-sounding versions. Jurlene became EU-speaked while explaining why the sofa was now a shared administrative area. EU27'd adj. Still drunk, and attempting to govern the kitchen as a coalition of twenty-seven equally entitled interests. Vonice was EU27'd, with every cupboard demanding representation before breakfast.