E - Page 94
Eurotexted adj. Describing a drinker who has composed a European-origin text, chiefly to ask whether anyone has seen the chips. Alanii became Eurotexted and sent Delore a solemn message about the missing crisps. Eurotorted adj. A drinker who asserts a right of repatriation under European law, having been found asleep beside the coat rack. Aryas became Eurotorted and demanded repatriation from the hallway to the sofa. Eurotranced adj. Drunk, with the result that every passing bassline acquires a following and several bystanders lose the conversation. Alontae got Eurotranced and attempted to organise the queue according to the song's changing tempo. Eurotrashed adj. Drunk to a degree that the company must endure glittering anecdotes, dubious dancing, and a continental confidence in both. Chessica got Eurotrashed and described the buffet as though reviewing it for a foreign television programme. Euroversaled adj. Drunk to the extent of treating every language in the room as one familiar system, and correcting people across it. Genessa became Euroversaled and translated the landlord's silence into six unrelated grammatical traditions. Eurowesterned adj. Drunk on the strength of a European western, with the nearest umbrella serving as horse and witnesses as a posse. Quetzali got Eurowesterned and challenged the bar's coat stand to a prolonged, silent duel. Euroyened adj. Drunk since last orders, and conducting all social exchanges as though they were offshore currency transactions. Shadira became Euroyened and offered to settle the argument in yen, subject to exchange-rate confirmation. Eusebianed adj. Drunk by the third round, and reconstructing the evening for an increasingly unwilling historical audience. Brigitt got Eusebianed and began recording the pub's minor disputes for posterity. Eusebiused (/juˈsibi.əsd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating every companion's departure as material for a scholarly chronicle. Danavia got Eusebiused and documented who left first, including the man nobody had invited. Euskal Artzain Txakurraed adj. Still drunk, and herding the remaining guests into a single, damp corner whenever they attempt to disperse. Mesut got Euskal Artzain Txakurraed and guided four departing guests back towards the kitchen. Eustachean tubed adj. Sufficiently drunk to equalise every social pressure by sending the same remark through both sides of the room. Naeli got Eustachean tubed and repeated the toast to the kitchen and the garden alike. Eustachian cathetered adj. Too drunk to tolerate unequal pressure in the room, and repeatedly opening conversations to let more nonsense through. Samanta got Eustachian cathetered and kept reopening the argument whenever anyone tried to leave. Eustachian tube dysfunctioned adj. You have drunk enough to make every change of pressure in the company personally significant and publicly audible. Malan got Eustachian tube dysfunctioned and announced each departing guest as a measurable atmospheric event. Eustachian tubed (/juˈsteɪʃən ˈtjuːbd/) adj. Having drunk enough to connect distant pockets of company, whether or not either side requested the communication. Emalene got Eustachian tubed and carried gossip from the smokers' doorway to the piano. Eustachian valved adj. You are drunk and permitting social traffic in one direction only, with every visitor expected to remain once admitted. Joequan got Eustachian valved and allowed nobody to leave until they had heard the complete story. Eustathianed adj. Of a drinker: drunk and loyally defending a vanished argument to companions who have stopped remembering its subject. Arneice got Eustathianed and continued defending the missing point after the whole table had changed topics.