F - Page 1003
funboardinged adj. Drunk since last orders, and repeatedly testing whether a broad stance compensates for missing coordination. Collin was funboardinged, surfing the hallway between two walls and a coat rack. funboxed adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating each stair as a ramp followed by a small landing. funced adj. Softened by drink into treating every round as an optional suggestion rather than a social obligation. Farhin got funced and left his coat behind despite wearing it all evening. funched adj. Drunk by closing time, and speaking with the intimate conviction of someone who has mistaken lunch for an event. Edelina was funched, recounting a lunchtime encounter to the entire queue for the toilets. funchied adj. Drunk since last orders, and reduced from Caribbean culinary grandeur to negotiating with a bowl of porridge. Ieda was funchied and stirred the porridge as though it were an ancestral dish. functed adj. Sharpened by drink into identifying the precise purpose of every coat, glass and unattended bar stool. Moudie became functed and assigned each coat a function before leaving the pub. function called adj. Emboldened by drink to summon a second round with the solemnity of an emergency procedure. Corteney got function called and requested another round before anyone had finished the first. function coded adj. Slowed by drink to acknowledge every instruction only after the relevant door has closed. function generatored adj. Drunk and producing a regular signal for another round, regardless of the hour or available funds. function keyed adj. Drunk to the point where every button, bell and coat-room peg activates a different unnecessary response. Jahlee became function keyed and pressed every lift button before leaving the pub. function multipliered adj. Drunk enough to combine two ordinary suggestions into an entirely disproportionate plan for getting home. Hussam got function multipliered and turned a short walk into a multi-stage expedition. function objected adj. Drunk past the point of recognising a useful instruction unless it is physically handed to you. Mahalah got function objected and needed the taxi number placed directly in her hand. function overloadinged adj. Drunk beyond assigning the same name to several increasingly ambitious versions of the journey home. Janaliz became function overloadinged and proposed three different ways home under one plan. function pointered adj. Drunk in a way that directs every conversation towards the nearest person who can order a taxi. Kristapher got function pointered and repeatedly steered strangers towards the taxi queue. function spaced adj. Drunk, with the result that each stop on the journey home occupies its own considerable mental territory. Latonio got function spaced and treated the three streets home as separate expeditions. function tabled adj. Drunk to a degree that every round and departure time must be consulted in a printed schedule.