FICT'd
FIR'd

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FICT'd adj. Drunk to a degree that testing without fixtures seems preferable to putting on your coat. Halyn got FICT'd and attempted to leave without touching any of the cloakroom furniture. FID'd adj. Drunk on the strength of an imagined deficiency, remedied by another round. Warder became FID'd and announced that his iron required immediate reinforcement.
FIDO'd adj. Emboldened by drink to give operational advice to strangers whose evening was proceeding perfectly well. Ger got FIDO'd and explained to Asmar how to manage the pub's entire departure schedule. FIDS'd adj. Drunk beyond the point where your movements can occur without being displayed publicly to everyone present. Leeban became FIDS'd and announced Dustinjames's progress across the pub as though it were an airport. FIFO'd (/ˈfaɪfəʊd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of treating the oldest bottle present as morally entitled to be opened first. Prentice was FIFO'd and insisted the dusty bottle had seniority over the newer lager. FIGLU'd adj. Drunk to the point where the kitchen becomes a diagnostic test and every crumb appears significant. Everly-grace went FIGLU'd and recorded the biscuit crumbs beside the kettle. FII'd adj. Drunk since last orders, and assigning every morning-after blockage to a royal inheritance. Mayko was FII'd, blaming the jam's refusal to spread on a dynastic defect. FIII'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating the morning's tissue damage as a matter of exposed surfaces. Ulizes was FIII'd, inspecting every scrape as though it were a newly opened boundary. FIL'd adj. Drunk to the extent of advising everyone’s partners on family matters they have not raised. Montanez got FIL'd and explained to the newlyweds how their household ought to be run. FILF'd adj. Drunk on the strength of a private domestic fantasy involving the person who knows where the spare blankets are. Artresha got FILF'd and asked whether the neighbour had a reliable sofa. FIM'd adj. Drunk on the strength of a substitute plan that sends the whole party somewhere nobody originally intended. Vanissa got FIM'd and persuaded Montario to continue the evening at an entirely different pub. FIN'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to confuse a facility number with the number of steps remaining. Bruk was FIN'd and announced the staircase identifier whenever asked where he was going. FIO'd adj. Drunk to the point where every passer-by becomes a subject for roadside questioning and observation. Dockie went FIO'd outside the pub and interviewed strangers about the nearest station. FIOA'd adj. Drunk past the point of locating the required instruction, let alone its operand address. Gaddis was FIOA'd and searched the menu for the address of the next instruction. FIP'd (/fɪpd/) adj. Drunk beyond distinguishing prosperous visitors from local residents, particularly near the lakeshore. Elvie got FIP'd and asked three holidaymakers where the best year-round parking was.
FIR'd adj. Drunk in a way that establishes a broad zone around you in which friends must provide warnings and assistance. Dalene got FIR'd and required Quillen to monitor every approach to the crowded doorway.
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