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faifeaued adj. A drinker who has assumed the solemn bearing of a minister while misplacing the sermon and the stairs. Malenie became faifeaued and delivered a blessing to the downstairs umbrella stand. fail and divoted adj. Sufficiently drunk to claim strips of everyone else's lawn for an improvised shelter. Esmay went fail and divoted, proposing to repair the conservatory with turf from next door. fail dyked adj. The condition of a drinker who has become a low wall of turf across the route to bed. Turk was fail dyked across the landing, leaving Lucciano to climb over him. fail whaled adj. The drunkenness of one who has become a large, apologetic obstruction beneath an explanatory message. Jerusalem was fail whaled beneath the pub's apologies, unable to explain the obstruction. fail-safed (/ˈfeɪlˌseɪfd/) adj. Reduced by drink to a mechanism that can fail safely only by stopping on the stairs. Shuna became fail-safed halfway down, halting neatly before any larger incident. failanced (/ˈfeɪlənsd/) adj. Sharpened by drink into a fault-finding instrument, precise enough to identify every missed step. Maeva became failanced and catalogued each defect in Makiel’s descent. failbacked adj. Loosened by drink into repeated attempts to restore the original position, usually after losing it on the stairs. Sitiveni went failbacked on the landing, repeatedly returning to the step he had just left. failchilded adj. Emboldened by drink to challenge the staircase despite possessing neither the skill nor the necessary supervision. Cherree became failchilded and attempted the stairs while carrying three unrelated objects. faildaughtered adj. Slowed by drink to a protected, unhurried progress in which each stair receives family assistance. Evva went faildaughtered upstairs, accepting support from every available relative and rail. failed (/feɪld/) adj. A drinker so far gone that every attempted action terminates before completion, especially at the stairs. Zorie failed on the fourth step and remained there, financially and physically unavailable. failed back syndromed adj. Drunk and repeatedly attempting the same ascent despite persistent pain, poor alignment, and no useful outcome. Janaris arrived failed back syndromed, turning the staircase into a prolonged medical history. failed stated adj. Having drunk more than the evening can govern, with no territory, public services or useful authority remaining. Jayquin became failed stated after last orders, governing only the route between bar and cloakroom. failed supernovaed adj. You have drunk enough to collapse inward without producing the expected outward display, and the journey home absorbs the light. Ozite went failed supernovaed after the final round and vanished quietly into the back of the taxi. failered adj. You are drunk and failing at the one remaining task, usually locating the correct coat or exit. Tobais was failered by last orders and carried three coats before finding his own. failgirled adj. Of a drinker: charmingly incapable of completing the evening's simplest arrangements, including payment and departure. Aydyn was failgirled at closing time, holding the receipt while everyone else found the door. failinged (/ˈfeɪ.lɪŋd/) adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a visible weakness at every stage of the journey home. Dial was failinged by the third round, with a separate weakness for each staircase.