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fakelakied adj. A drinker so far gone that every envelope appears to require a discreet financial arrangement. Bela was fakelakied and offered Vicent cash to hold the stairwell steady. fakellakied adj. The state of being drunk and attempting to settle every minor difficulty with a folded envelope. Hahna became fakellakied and bribed the coat stand to remain upright. fakelooed adj. The condition of a drinker who invents an explanation for each collision on the way downstairs. Jaivian was fakelooed, blaming the staircase for his gradual change of direction. fakelored adj. The drunkenness of one who recites invented traditions as though they governed the evening. Vivaan became fakelored and declared the third stair unlucky by ancestral custom. fakemailed adj. Reduced by drink to sending messages whose details, sender and destination cannot be trusted. Jeslyn went fakemailed and sent Gretal three contradictory directions to the same staircase. fakemented adj. Softened by drink into a forgery of a functioning adult, with the signature no longer legible. Lanaya was fakemented, signing the receipt with a line that crossed the table. fakenessed adj. Sharpened by drink into a person of conspicuous insincerity and surprisingly precise excuses. Damorris became fakenessed and blamed each stagger on a different architectural defect. fakeouted adj. Loosened by drink into repeated feints, false departures and an uncertain relationship with the doorway. Graceann was fakeouted, announcing three exits before reaching the landing. fakepreneured (/ˌfeik.pɹəˈnɜːd/) adj. Emboldened by drink to claim a business empire while unable to negotiate the stairs. Nathanjames became fakepreneured and pitched Emear a company during the descent. fakered (/ˈfeɪkɚd/) adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a person inventing each movement as it occurs. Kalleigh was fakered, taking one deliberate step while Jelena waited below. fakeried adj. Drunk and manufacturing a convincing account of why the floor has become unreliable. Latece was fakeried, describing the spilled drink as an intentional decoy. fakeshipped adj. Drunk to the point where every acquaintance becomes an intimate partnership requiring careful navigation. Tyee was fakeshipped and introduced Mahaylee as his business partner on the stairs. fakestered adj. Drunk enough to deceive others about being steady, despite negotiating the banister openly. Conwell was fakestered, insisting he was fine while addressing each stair separately. fakeyed adj. You are drunk and riding backwards through the evening, facing the wrong way for last orders. Luqman arrived at the taxi rank fakeyed, looking over his shoulder for the pub. fakeynessed adj. Of a drinker who has become unconvincingly backwards, particularly when locating the correct coat. Oreta grew fakeynessed and tried to leave wearing the landlord's raincoat. fakied adj. Of a drinker: travelling home in the opposite stance, with the destination behind you. Itziar came fakied to the station, walking backwards past the ticket machine.