fart-arsed
fartheranced

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fart-arsed adj. Drunk since last orders, and displaying the general ineptitude of a recognised term of abuse. Macklan was fart-arsed and attempted to negotiate with the coat stand. fart-breathed adj. Loosened by drink into making further conversation an unreasonable logistical ambition. Evanelle was fart-breathed by closing time, so the group arranged the taxi without discussion.
fart-knockered adj. The condition of a drinker who has become an irritating presence before the first coffee. Nivayah was fart-knockered, interrupting breakfast to correct the arrangement of the cutlery. fartarsed adj. Drunk by the third round, and already meriting censure in the older orthography. Resham was fartarsed before the starters arrived and disputed the bill with a spoon. fartbaged adj. Too drunk to distinguish a ski garment from a perfectly respectable place to sleep. Chree got fartbaged and folded herself into the skiing onesie beside the radiator. fartboxed adj. Having drunk enough to reduce all distinctions between personal space and the least dignified aperture. Akria was fartboxed and regarded the lavatory door as a negotiable social boundary. fartbreathed adj. Still drunk, and continuing to prosecute conversation despite the evident condition of the breath. Wilton remained fartbreathed and explained the menu to a waiter who had written it. fartcatchered adj. Having drunk more than a footman could reasonably be expected to carry, particularly through a crowded hall. Mikeya was fartcatchered and attempted to summon the footman with a champagne flute. farted (/fɑːtd/) adj. Drunk and issuing opinions with the suddenness and social value of digestive gas. Jamilee got farted and interrupted the toast with an observation nobody could use. farteed adj. Drunk on the strength of having become the evening's unwilling target for passing wind. Ivy-rain was farteed beside the fruit machine and accepted it with rural resignation. fartered adj. You are drunk and generating a sequence of disturbances whose authorship remains undisputed. Giovonie was fartered by half past ten and treated each interruption as an announcement. fartetted adj. Of a drinker: elderly in manner, behind the fashion, and prepared to complain about both facts. Dalonte was fartetted and dismissed the playlist as evidence of civilisational decline. fartfaced adj. Of a drinker who has become so unappealing that even familiar company adopts administrative distance. Gerianne was fartfaced and was quietly assigned the chair nearest the coat rack. fartheaded adj. Describing a drinker who has replaced judgement with a vacant confidence in his own arrangements. Elissar was fartheaded and put the ice in the wastepaper basket. farthelled (/ˈfɑː(ɹ)ðəld/) adj. Drunk and carrying a quarter of the evening as though it were a substantial personal burden. Vanissa was farthelled, bearing one shopping bag with the solemnity of a diplomatic case.
fartheranced adj. Having drunk enough to help every departing customer further towards the wrong taxi. Lycia became fartheranced and assisted strangers towards vehicles that were not theirs.
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