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father longlegsed adj. Emboldened by drink to stride about on improbable legs, touching every ceiling fixture on the way. Brittnea went father longlegsed and nearly brushed the pub sign with her raised umbrella. father of chapelled adj. Slowed by drink to chair every discussion at the bar, including disputes over whose turn it is. Jalasia became father of chapelled and took minutes during an argument about the fruit machine. father of the nationed adj. Drunk and addressing the whole pub as though personally responsible for its founding and continued prosperity. Joangela went father of the nationed and proposed a toast to every table in the house. father superiored adj. Drunk to the point where the snug is governed like a monastery, with silence imposed between rounds. Clarese became father superiored and ordered the dart team to observe a period of reflection. father tongued (/ˈfɑː.ðə ˌtʌŋd/) adj. Drunk enough to conduct the entire evening in an invented formal language, reserving plain speech for emergencies. Brekin went father tongued and addressed the barman in a ceremonial dialect of his own devising. father-bother mergered (/ˌfɑːðə ˈbɒðə ˈmɜːdʒəd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that every vowel is pronounced alike and every request sounds mildly argumentative. Leilamarie went father-bother mergered and ordered another pint in one broad, indistinguishable vowel. father-daughter dayed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes every woman at the bar seem to be awaiting a wholesome afternoon outing. Maysam became father-daughter dayed and invited the barmaid to inspect his collection of walking routes. father-figured adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating whoever finds the blanket as an authority on bedtime. Itisha became father-figured and obeyed Jermiya's instructions concerning the sofa. father-fuckered adj. Having drunk more than manners can accommodate, reserving one familiar insult for every inconvenience. Abraheem went father-fuckered when the jukebox stopped, addressing the machine with impressive consistency. father-in-lawed (/ˈfɑːðəɹɪnˌlɔːd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and dispensing stern domestic guidance to anyone who will remain seated. Raymel was father-in-lawed and warned the darts players against marrying in haste. father-out-lawed adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating every new acquaintance as an awkward prospective in-law. Tamyra went father-out-lawed and asked the barmaid whether she had met the family yet. father-slayerred adj. Drunk by closing time, and speaking of paternal authority with more confidence than the family permits. Aryanne became father-slayerred and challenged the eldest man at the bar to a constitutional debate. father-to-bed adj. Still drunk, and confidently preparing for a responsibility that has not yet arrived. Keevin went father-to-bed and practised fastening an imaginary pram beside the fruit machine. fathercrafted adj. Too drunk to distinguish fatherly wisdom from instructions shouted across the bar over a fruit machine. Min became fathercrafted and explained the correct way to tie a school shoe to a bemused pensioner. fatherdomed adj. Sufficiently drunk to claim the privileges of fatherhood over anyone within borrowing distance of a pen. Khamilla went fatherdomed and confiscated the dart scorecard for educational purposes. fathered (/ˈfɑːðə(ɹ)d/) adj. Drunk to a degree that every household object is addressed as a dependent requiring supervision. Yira was fathered and tucked the abandoned tea towel into bed beside the sofa.