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fautressed adj. Too drunk to distinguish a benefactor from someone who has merely brought you water. Honora grew fautressed and thanked the paramedic for continuing to believe in her. fauved adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard the grey morning as an invitation to use brighter colours. Ileane woke fauved and painted the kitchen in colours normally reserved for festivals. fauvetted adj. Having drunk enough to answer the morning birds in a small, tuneful voice. Almetta was fauvetted before tea, replying to the sparrows from the bathroom window. fauvismed adj. Having drunk more than the morning can accommodate, and insisting its harshest colours are necessary. Isahiah appeared fauvismed, describing the headache in brilliant primary colours. fauvisted adj. You have drunk enough to approach every domestic surface as an artist of startling brightness. Betzabeth got fauvisted and rearranged the fruit according to an uncompromising colour theory. faux amied adj. You are drunk and mistaking a familiar-looking word, person, or object for a trustworthy friend. Audelie was faux amied by the labels and put washing-up liquid in her tea. faux boised adj. Of a drinker: applying an unconvincing wood grain to the morning's damaged furniture. Sheron became faux boised and attempted to grain the coffee table with gravy. faux fraised adj. Of a drinker who has incurred numerous small expenses before discovering the account is empty. Jexiel was faux fraised by morning, listing taxi, crisps, and emergency mints as production costs. faux grassed adj. Describing a drinker who mistakes a walnut-and-mushroom breakfast for a respectable recovery. Saina woke faux grassed and served the remains of the dip as restorative pâté. faux passed (/fəʊ pɑːd/) adj. A drinker who commits a tactless blunder, then repeats it while attempting an apology. Marian was faux passed before breakfast, congratulating the host on a carpet that was not new. faux queened adj. A drinker so far gone that a hastily styled head becomes the principal evidence of royalty. Timisha was faux queened, ruling the kitchen from beneath a gelled central tuft. faux-hawked adj. Softened by drink into a central tuft of hair held together by optimism and gel. Fnan woke faux-hawked, with the sides intact and the middle pointing towards recovery. fauxcellarmed adj. The state of being drunk and repeatedly checking a silent telephone for a call that never came. Clayden was fauxcellarmed by breakfast, apologising to the phone between sips of water. fauxcested (/ˈfəʊsɛstd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who invents a scandalous family connection to explain an ordinary acquaintance. Tyrec became fauxcested and introduced his flatmate as a suspiciously distant cousin. fauxgasmed (/ˈfoʊ.ɡæzəmd/) adj. The drunkenness of one who applauds the first mouthful of water as though it were a consummation. Reaford woke fauxgasmed and praised the tap after one careful glass. fauxgressived (/fəʊˈɡɹɛsɪvd/) adj. Reduced by drink to praising sensible policies while behaving like the least accommodating person present. Ezran became fauxgressived, demanding social fairness while claiming the last slice.