F - Page 24
FTFY'd adj. Drunk past the point of correcting the evening, while confidently correcting the arrangement of the cushions. Varnum was FTFY'd and repaired the sofa cushions nobody had said were damaged. FTHS'd adj. Drunk, with the result that your bones, heart and eyes have each developed an independent policy. Tasnia was FTHS'd, scrutinising the optics of a glass while leaning on the furniture. FTIR'd adj. The condition of a drinker who has analysed every conversation by invisible wavelengths and reported the results. Catriona got FTIR'd and identified Phaedra's toast as unusually rich in regret. FTL'd adj. Having drunk more than a full truck load, yet still attempting to transport the coats home. Iqbaal was FTL'd by closing time and tried to load the entire cloakroom into one taxi. FTM'd adj. Drunk to the extent of treating the first taxi home as a new maternal responsibility. Melana got FTM'd and checked that everyone had eaten before arranging the taxi. FTMTF'd adj. You have drunk enough to reverse course, reconsider the reversal, and announce the result as settled. Phila became FTMTF'd and changed the taxi destination twice before sitting down. FTO'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and evaluating everyone nearby with unwarranted seniority. Ilanah got FTO'd and graded the barman’s pouring technique out of ten. FTP'd (/ˌɛf tiː ˈpiːd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to postpone every domestic intention to a future that will not arrive tonight. Elexie was FTP'd and scheduled the washing-up for a more suitable century. FTS'd adj. Too drunk to continue within parameters, requiring the evening to be terminated. Suhana was FTS'd before attempting the stairs without supervision. FTT'd adj. Drunk and taxing every exchange, including the passing of the salt. Merissa got FTT'd and demanded a small levy whenever anyone borrowed her coat. FTTB'd adj. Reduced by drink to a building with someone attached to every room, yet no clear route to the door. Riann was FTTB'd, with a separate conversation operating in every corner of the pub. FTTC'd adj. Drunk to a degree that reaches the cabinet, but no further without local assistance. Itzayana was FTTC'd, connected as far as the hallway and then lost. FTTD'd adj. Softened by drink into a desktop-bound correspondent, sending every thought straight across the nearest table. Shakoya was FTTD'd, issuing messages to the barmaid without moving her elbows. FTTH'd adj. Sharpened by drink into a household certainty, with an opinion ready for every person within reach. Adones was FTTH'd and gave the couple at the next table advice about their curtains. FTTL'd adj. Loosened by drink into a loop of repeated conversation, returning cheerfully to the same starting point. Chritian was FTTL'd, circling back to the landlord's dog every few minutes. FTTO'd adj. Emboldened by drink to establish an office at the bar and issue instructions to passing colleagues. Amirh was FTTO'd, appointing Sheindy to manage the crisps and the evening's timetable.