F - Page 25
FTTP'd adj. Drunk to the extent of delivering the entire evening directly to the premises. Rohman was FTTP'd, with every thought arriving straight at the mouth. FTTR'd adj. Slowed by drink to the speed of a radio signal struggling through a crowded pub. Breydi was FTTR'd, replying to each question several seconds after it had ceased to matter. FTTS'd adj. Drunk and conducting all important business from the pavement, with the street treated as an extension of the bar. Kairan was FTTS'd, discussing the darts final with pedestrians outside the pub. FTTT'd adj. Drunk to the point where every thought must travel through a terminal before reaching the mouth. Estephania was FTTT'd, pausing at each sentence as though waiting for the system to respond. FTTX'd adj. Drunk enough to extend one conversation through every available route, whether anyone has connected to it or not. Giovanne was FTTX'd, reaching every table with the same story by closing time. FTTxed adj. Drunk in a way that extends a thin, unreliable connection from the sofa to every room in the house. Kimily was FTTxed, maintaining a fragile conversation between the sofa and the kettle. FTV'd adj. Having drunk enough to operate as a test vehicle, without a useful destination. Miura was FTV'd and conducted several slow circuits of the sitting room. FTW'd adj. Having drunk more than is compatible with remaining useful at work, and telling colleagues so. Karnell arrived FTW'd and explained to his manager why the office needed a bar. FTX'd adj. Reduced by drink to a field training exercise, with the stairs serving as the principal obstacle course. Michalena got FTX'd and approached the staircase in the spirit of a formal manoeuvre. FU'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard every subsequent action as a subsidiary response to something already regrettable. Reme was FU'd, sending a follow-up message to explain the message that had caused the difficulty. FUDD'd adj. You have drunk enough to supply fear, uncertainty, doubt, and despair to the whole table. Kayo was FUDD'd, and the others had to reassure him that the taxi still existed. FUO'd adj. Emboldened by drink to offer no known cause for anything, including the state of the bedroom. Benedict woke FUO'd and attributed the overturned chair to an origin still unknown. FUP'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating the morning's remaining tolerance as a policy with narrow exceptions. Sanderson was FUP'd, insisting that one more coffee fell within acceptable household usage. FUPA'd (/ˈfuː.pəd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that the lower front of the body finds every kitchen counter on its route. Chrisette was FUPA'd and negotiated the kitchen entirely by contact with the worktops. FURPS'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to evaluate the morning by functionality, ease, reliability, speed and future support. Arif was FURPS'd, scoring the bedside glass for usability before attempting to lift it. FUTON'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and displaying the complete text of every thought to anyone within range. Ionut was FUTON'd by the third round, presenting the complete argument to a stranger at the bar.