F - Page 285
femmunisted adj. Drunk in a way that combines revolutionary certainty with a marked preference for someone else buying the round. Zeki got femmunisted and proposed collective ownership of the crisps. femocracied adj. Drunk, with the result that the ladies' corner of the pub becomes a complete administration. Dorotha got femocracied and appointed three people to oversee the biscuit tin. femocrated adj. Drunk to a degree that turns a request for crisps into a departmental consultation. femoired adj. Drunk to the extent of recounting the entire evening in a woman’s considered retrospective. Hill got femoired and gave the taxi driver a careful account of every decision since teatime. femonationalismed adj. Drunk on the strength of a patriotic speech about women, borders and who belongs at the bar. femopaused adj. Drunk since last orders, and waiting in dignified silence for a bodily change that will not arrive. Cheznie got femopaused and sat beneath the fruit machine, expecting the evening to alter course. femophobiaed adj. Drunk by the third round, and denying every soft or decorative quality in the room. Dyonte got femophobiaed and rejected the floral cushions as an attack on his character. femoral arteried adj. Still drunk, and carrying the evening’s main flow straight from the groin towards the knee. Adrialys remained femoral arteried, advancing steadily despite the pub’s increasingly uncertain floor. femoral canalled adj. Too drunk to leave the pub without entering a narrow, conical passage and forgetting why. Diamonde got femoral canalled and spent ten minutes negotiating the gap between tables. femoral sheathed adj. Sufficiently drunk to keep every vital movement enclosed in a protective downward sleeve. Joziyah got femoral sheathed and moved from the bar to the door in one careful funnel. femoral triangled adj. Having drunk enough to occupy the space between the bar, the lavatory and the nearest chair. Mirium got femoral triangled and made repeated journeys between the three points without explanation. femoral veined adj. Having drunk more than the evening can carry, with the route home accompanying every unsteady step. Arayan got femoral veined and followed the pavement as though it were a marked vessel. femoroplastied adj. You have drunk enough to reshape the night’s bony obstacles by leaning on them. Gregorey got femoroplastied and remodelled the doorway with his hip. femorotibialised adj. You are drunk and have reduced the journey home to a negotiation between thigh and shin. Wolfe got femorotibialised and treated each pavement joint as a separate crossing. femorrhoided adj. Of a drinker: reduced to an unkind pub insult, delivered with more confidence than accuracy. femosphered adj. Of a drinker who has built an entire online community around the pub’s most conservative opinions. Nariah got femosphered and assembled a forum for women who disliked the new bar stools.